Comments : Running wild and free

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Naomi,

    What a beautiful piece of free verse this is. Your descriptive writing has hit new levels recently, it seems.

    Well done and all the best,

    Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    N, a wonderfully happy write which I just love BTW...your visuals are just lovely. I found myself exhaling and just relaxing when I read this. Well done-

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    This is beautiful!!!! xx

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello my dear,

    this is indeed a beautiful piece. The way you described nature and the affect on the senses was captivating. It is a breath of fresh air reading this poem today - thank you, thank, thank you! :O)

    • 1 year ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      No worries Michael! I am getting onto that other thing too.. :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Phil

    That's perfection right there.

    • 1 year ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks Phil - sorry I didnt see this comment earlier!!! :(

  • 1 year ago

    by Mark

    Couldn't resist! Couldn't resist!! Running wild and free.....a title that captures my heart before I even read it. I imagined a girl running across an open field. And behold...Nams delivers .....

    It seems free verse however there are stanzas and structure with each end line of the stanzas. First stanza is breathtaking with descriptions like fields of dew speckled greenery... Sweet smelling beds of grass. Then she runs barefoot.

    Almost as if you were or wish to be this person.
    The ending of each verse is 'she feels...' Beautiful!

    Second stanza...'drops to her back in a fit of giggles'..rustling leaves ...marshmallow clouds..breathtaking Nams! I'm their with you...I'm wishing this was me. Oh this is going into the favorites.

    Third stanza is sort of daydreaming... Of rainbows and she is at peace. I have no words here Nams other than each stanza maintains the rhythm and flow of your write.

    Fourth stanza filled with wonderful descriptions of sun kissed...humming a familiar tune...skipping....free!

    I can't suggest anything here...because this poetry has blown me away to a beautiful place. Maybe changing 'sees' to views? But I wouldn't change a thing. Hugs Nams

    • 1 year ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Marky Mark -
      Another in your favourites! WOW I am def. honored by that!

      Im glad you enjoyed.. I suppose this was more of a poem when i was having a "good day" i suppose.. had no worries of depression or anxiety or issues.. I was carefree.. Just living in the moment and enjoying the sun and happiness! :)

      thank you again for the comment Marky Mark

  • 1 year ago

    by mossgirl19

    Nams...ahhh I want to run like that! There are so many things I like about this poem.

    Firstly, your vocabulary here is so rich that the vivid descriptions of the actions taking place lures me in more and more.

    Secondly, the way the beautiful vocabulary ties up with the poem structure. I really adore that every stanza ends in a one sentence line of how this lady in here feels. That emphasis given is a breath of fresh air as I read the whole piece.

    Thirdly, the events are so put in a beautiful order that the read makes a very refreshing experience. It's like I was there breathing the fresh air with her.

    Over-all this is surely a fantastic poem and is going into my faves. Well done! :-)