Comments : Wistful Wordplay

  • 9 months ago

    by Brenda

    As always you slay me with your writes. Well done-

  • 9 months ago

    by Ren

    This is beautiful. I love the layout...and those last few lines...wow. Wonderful write!

  • 9 months ago

    by Ren

    Congrats on the win!

  • 9 months ago

    by Aegis

    Thank you all for your lovely comments and constructive criticism:) Have had some writer's block for the last few weeks, as well as some mental block too. Hopefully I can pick up the pace again soon:)

  • 9 months ago

    by Shruti

    This is sad, yet so very lovely! Many congrats on your win. :)

  • 9 months ago

    by Em

    Aegis, I will apologise for missing this beautiful piece of writing and say that I'm glad it was nominated and of course won the weekly. Yes, I know I am a week late but better late than never they say lol.

    I guess even if this wasn't on the front page I would have noticed it at some point seems your in my favourites and are fantastic but even if you weren't that title would have drawn me in because it makes you think. Well, it made so many questions go around in my little brain. I'm surprised you couldn't hear them or smell the burn from them lol

    Somewhere amongst the
    scattered commas
    and awkward

    spacing-
    ^^
    This is just so beautifully crafted and I love the spacing between the lines, it makes it feel more mysterious to me anyway.

    I lost my voice.
    ^^
    I question here why you lost your voice, why weren't you strong enough to speak out about things. What was so terrible that muted your opinion??

    Now I'm forced to read
    between the lines
    in silence.
    ^^
    A perfect ending to a perfectly crafted piece of poetry. All the best,
    Em

  • 6 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    You have a great play of words here. Great write!

  • 6 months ago

    by Sai

    This has a whispery feel to it. Most likely has to do with the s sound scattered throughout. I very much enjoyed the read.

  • 5 months ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment:

    The introduction sounds like something I would totally say to myself or even say in a comment, so that was cute and playful. It really got me interested in this piece and what else Aegis was going to say to us. "I lost my voice," is where this piece took a turn of sorrow. It was a beautiful, delicate sort of sorrow, that was completely stunning. So many of us have our own takes to this, and that's probably what I love the most about it.

  • 5 months ago

    by Nicko

    Judging comment

    A cleverly worded poem that drew me in and captivated me from start to finish. I’m not normally a fan of using gaps and spacing to add emphasis but in this case I felt it was appropriate and complimented the poem. Short but chocked full of meaning, well done.