Comments : Smoke

  • 8 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    An excellent, visual write.
    Well done on this,

    Ben

  • 8 months ago

    by Brenda

    I liked this a lot. Your visuals are spot on. It told a lot more than one story here,-well done-

  • 8 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I agree about the visuals, such engaging imagery!

    My only suggestion or thought would be to possibly add or experiment with different punctuation instead of the commas. Like a dash, semicolon, etc.

    Again, totally my opinion. Keep writing, will read more soon.