Comments : Breathless Days (acrostic/Sonnet)

  • 1 month ago

    by Michael

    Kasie..

    An acrostic-cross-sonnet, amazing with such great content.
    Brilliant, so enjoyed reading this piece

    Much love

    Michael :)

    • 1 month ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you.

  • 1 month ago

    by Em

    Kasie, it really is good to see you back especially writing stuff like this even if extremely sad. Loved the content even if sad and loved the rhyming which you made look easy. Acrostics are hard at best of times but to rhyme them too is much harder and you did both: fantabulous!

    At first, with the title, I thought this would be about love and how it leaves us wanting more but how wrong was I.

    1/ This is a very profound opening and one which left me breathless because I could have written it myself about how we paint these smiles on to mask out our real feelings because we've been strong for too long and we don't know how else to cope with the emotions we're going through but believe me you're not a disgrace and you can achieve anything you like if you put your mind to it. Encumbered is a fantastic word by the way.

    2/ The words you use are astoundingly good as they show the emotions you go through (no doubt like me on a daily basis) I.e. harassing, burdens, screaming and extinguishing. Anxiety is a hard thing to deal with as it is but to have these voices screaming at us - telling us that we're no good etc etc is much worse but to deal with both my goodness it's horrific. That last line "Extinguishing her hopes to solid stone" made me gasp for breath.

    Couplet/ Yes, I totally get this breathless feeling because of the bad memories but what we have to do is remember the good times instead and I know it's much easier said than done but it's worth a try, right?

    Take care and here if you need anything
    Em x

    Edit: if you want a sonnet how about breathless much or breathless days for the extra quatrain??

    • 1 month ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you, I always love your comments. They are spot on. It seems that I can only write about sad subjects that affect me personally. It is how I cope with everything. And thank you for being there!

    • 1 month ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you for the suggestion. I will try to finish it. I had gotten ahead of myself earlier and thought it was a sonnet and miscounted the lines. Lol

  • 1 month ago

    by Mandy Earl

    This one is close to home for me, I really relate to this one. I'm not completely learned on the different types of poem styles out there, but this really resonated and I loved it!

    • 1 month ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you

  • 1 month ago

    by Em

    Kasie you have gone and done it now.. seems that finished me off!!!

    • 1 month ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you, you have helped so much!

  • 1 month ago

    by Lucifer

    Cassie, You wrote about something which has become a part of our daily life.
    Call it anxiety, stress, depression or darkness they all are the same.
    I just hope and pray that for whomsoever you have written it find the way out of it.

    Good to see it is nominated.
    Thank you.

    • 1 month ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you so much. I have anxiety/panic attacks, which is what this is about. Writing is my way of coping. Thank you again for your support!

  • 1 month ago

    by mossgirl19

    Cassie...this is fab! Oh my I am in awe of your sonnet writing skill. Wow, this is amazing, I like it very much. Straight into faves.

    • 1 month ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you so much

  • 1 month ago

    by Brenda

    Cassie, wow! Mixing an acrostic with a sonnet, absolutely wonderful! This is a sad write but one to be celebrated for your beautiful writing abilities. Well done-

    • 1 month ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you.