Comments : HiDn TeArZ

  • 12 years ago

    by Rashelle

    I like its becouse it has a nice flow and i can relate to it good job

  • 12 years ago

    by Brookeღ

    Nice job!

  • 12 years ago

    by Brookeღ

    Keep on writing I love ur work!

  • 12 years ago

    by Andrea

    great poem!

  • 12 years ago

    by xxangelchicxx2000

    very good keep up the good work

  • 12 years ago

    by t i f f a n y ♥

    Great poem hun. Keep it up!

    Love,
    Tiff

  • 12 years ago

    by Jomar Bautista

    Short but well written. I could advice that you musy give enough details to portrait the image u wanted to tel. Still it was a great work!!! =) 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Georgi

    great poem short but effective xxxx

  • 12 years ago

    by Amanda

    Sad but great to read! keep up the good work :)

  • 12 years ago

    by themeuneverseen

    WOW! I loved it! Short sweet and to the point! O and i can relate!
    Love always,
    Haily
    xoxoxoxoxo

  • 12 years ago

    by David Paul

    This poem you say is a slang poem, but I see that it could have easily been turned into a depression poem or dark if you would have just not taken some shortcuts and put "and" instead of "n" and used "s" instead of "z". I like the overall poem though. It had a good idea, I just don't think it got the respect it deserved cause it was put in slang instead of just normal dialogue. 4/5 kilman

  • 12 years ago

    by Johnny Marlin

    awesome poem, take care and thank you for the comment.

  • 12 years ago

    by Sarah Ann

    Very good. short to the point. good

  • 11 years ago

    by Megadrive

    I like this one, its really pretty, but of course also sad:( good job keep up the good work!

  • 11 years ago

    by Vegetable

    Very good, I liked how you got meaning across even though you used slang, most slang poems loose some of their emotions. But this is very good.

  • 11 years ago

    by Larry

    I liked what you tried to do -- but it could have been better -- but I think purposely misspelling some of the words with the letter "z" instead of "s" acknowledges your youth -- a lot of younger people use this speech when chatting -- so, it seems as if the poem is directed toward younger readers -- you want your poetry to speak to all ages and misspelling words, even though you did it purposely, will not allow you to do that! Poetry should rolloff of the tongue and misspelling words can tongue that readers and they get aggravated and stop reading -- you don't want that! You want to make it easy for them to read while simultaneously making your point and expressing get in a beautiful manner -- with some changes it could be an excellent award-winning poem! If you would care to know what I would do, e-mail me! Please don't be offended -- I just love poetry!