Comments : The dark side of the moon

  • 18 years ago

    by Garrett

    Suggestion for this line: "no one wans to hear of all the tears and lies no one wants to know any of the hows and whys"

    no one wan[t]s to hear
    of all the tears and [all the]lies
    [and]no one wants to know
    any of the hows and [the]whys

    This evens out your rhythm and makes it sound better (also fixed your spelling).

    Anyway, overall it was a really nice poem. Just keep working on it.

  • 18 years ago

    by Shannon

    Hey that peom was really good. It flowed really nicely. I do agree with the first comment. It would even out your rhythem and it does sound better. But anyways that is sort of what people do because I felt it. Great Job!

  • 18 years ago

    by Lisa

    Crystal, I loved this poem so much. It might just be how I felt at the particular moment in time, but still. I miss you so much.

  • 18 years ago

    by Princess09

    Ur a great poet never stop writing

  • 18 years ago

    by Katie

    I know exactly what you're talking about in this poem. I hid all my tears for so so long until I finally realise everyone else is hiding their own as well. I realised it wasnt worth to keep it all bottled up. Anyways, awsome write! I love the message. It is so true. Your poem flows so well. I LOVED it! 5/5!

  • 18 years ago

    by Tiny Reader

    Good poem. Different way of getting your point across. Small thing:
    they don't see what their doing
    their- they're
    Well written.

  • 18 years ago

    by Jason Meres

    I liked your content, I truly did. It might do well with a little cleaning up here and there, but your base idea is great.

  • 18 years ago

    by Simon Hayes

    Great poem with realism! Appreciate the thought behind the lines and the title. Reminds me of a sad loss 1 year ago. Anyway, will look through all your work!

  • 18 years ago

    by John Vlight

    I really like the symbolism and imagry

  • 18 years ago

    by Truest Lies

    Wow! dark, but real, real good!

  • 18 years ago

    by Atomic

    Again, I like how it's short and simple and goes right to the pont.

    My favourite lines were:

    "
    The dark side of the moon
    is where the worlds fears are hidden
    no one wants to think of it
    and talk of its forbidden

    no one wants to hear
    of all the tears and all the lies
    and no one wants to know
    any of the hows and the whys"

    ( )_( )
    (='.'=)
    (")-(") Arrivederci!

  • 18 years ago

    by Shawn Williams

    Wow...ur 16? That was beautifully deep. Your ideas are profound. I do think you could come up with more creative word usage but other than that...it was superb. Because of its depth I had to give it a 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by shawn hoskins

    Nice poem flowed very good 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Momentary Relapse

    The ending line didn't seem to fit very well. You're word usage could have been a touch better but still it was a nice write. Interesting title. As I said it was a nice write.
    ~A&C

  • 18 years ago

    by master of shadow

    I really like this poem.