Nice! Very good to be your first one.

Great to be a first, keep writing and writing. always helps. writing feelings is a great way to get things out. and makes great poems and songs. kees it up.

Great job! Out of the two that you did... I liked this one the best. Now your new challenge is to have a double Acrostic (not only the first letter, but ends with the same letter). Keep experimenting and keep writing. Well done! 5/5

That was a great read! So simple short and sweet! I loved how you rapped up your poem at the end and i think it's really awesome that your trying a new way of writting! In a few places I found that your wording was a little funny... I'm not sure if you wanted it that way but this line kind of threw me off.

Everything I do it hurts,

I'd change that to "everything i do hurts" the way you have it now kinda throws of the flow a bit! Anyways, I loved this poem, 5/5 keep up the awesome work!