We no longer believe it's just fait
[Should be "fate".]
Instead of fighting there turning us into our enemies
[Should be "they're".]

I really really really really liked the ending. I thought it was really strong and brought the whole poem together. Pretty good stuff! Keep it up! 5/5

`Taleee. xx.

Great job! I read and commented on some of your other poems yesterday! I really like your style of writing!! It's inspirational and makes you think!! On the 3rd line down did you mean to write 'It's only time BEFORE we turn violent?' It seems like that would make more sense. But great job!! 5/5

I think it is good chris It is well written and everything. Kind of reminds me of the 60's. However, message wise, I think other than just saying we need to stand up and cry out and etc, maybe you could specefy against what. That may make your poem more emphatic.

Very nice! Its short sweet and to the point. Very, Very strong feeling and emotion! I Suggest using periods and commas to just improve the grammar in all, but that obviously is just to make it look nicer. All in all it is a very well flowing, well writtin poem! Nice word choice. Good job!=D

~++~

Short but strong. The ending was very good but watch your wording; "keep from keeping" doesn't sound right and could be better put. A good poem, keep it up.

Yep, BM: "Keep from staying silent" might have been a better turn of phrase, although don't you think the way he has written it gives it more of a staccato rhythm that would have impacted really well if it had remained throughout.

As for the content, it's very passionate and keeps your attention on the central theme. I don't know how it's meant to be interpreted, but I presume it's a stand against the growing emphasis on greed that pervades modern society.

I thought the meaning behind this poem was awesome, its something we can never really grasp or understand properly but the way you wrote this poem, made me think alot and it was absolutely marvellous, keep writing
xxxxxx