Teasing eyelashes admiring the past, lost in future
And hearing a soul wishing you'd arrive with a tear
^^I really liked those two lines, they stood out so much to me. They were both a great way to end the poem aswel, well, in my opinion they were.
The flow was great in this, I liked it alot. Your wording was awesome! You described everything very well, like per usual! I don't think there's anything that should be changed. Keep it up, Kaylee. Glad to see you've posted another poem. =D Tehe. 5/5
Hmm, interesting piece. When I first read the title, I thought you meant Holy Water, like what the priests use to bless people at baptism. Or what the sprinkle on people during special occasions. This was a really well written poem. I liked the imagery. I liked the ending of this as well.
Lovely descriptions and well written. I tend to find "heart" and "love" cliche words and I know sometimes they are difficult to avoid. However, using them twice in one stanza isn't good in my opinion. Could you use other words there to break this "overused" word issue up?
Apart from that I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
I don't agree with the comment that you had no flow. It flowed very well for me, like a picture being painted or a story being told. Probably the second of the two considering this is poetry, lol. The only question I have...what is a "cavas"? (third to last line) I'm either dumb or you misspelled "canvas" or something, though I'm probably just dumb, lol.
I really enjoyed reading this poem, you have a good way of stating things without making them cliche.
This poem spoke so many different emotions and scenarios and i think thats why it makes it so beautiful and wonderfully written. please keep writing and stay safe stron and healthy
11 years ago
by Tara Kay
Another very good poem.
Yes, this one didnt capture me as much as the others but it was still a worthwhile read.
You have talent to bring life into your poemss, make them real, it is really good how you do that.