Awwwh, this was so sad, but a pleasure to read.
It had so much depth and emotion behind the words and you did a great job on a sad subject.

Oh wow. i Know the feeling within this poem.. Hurtful. Great job writing it. The structure can be worked on though.

I like this poem, BUT the structure could use quite a bit of work. I like the wya you used all the different words to describe how your feeling, but it would help if you expanded it a little bit. Like i said before the structure makes the poem difficult to read, and people who see it well they wouldnt be tempted to read it. I suggest you change the structure, itll seem more appealing. Still youve got talent, keep writing! Take care xx

I agree with the person above. Maybe if you put it into stanzas it'd be appealing. I've noticed people dont read the ones that are put like this, if you put it into stanzas it'd attract people, I've said that to one person so far. I also agree that I like how you describe how you were feeling. Oh and you spelled betrayed wrong when you were describing it. But this was still good, I enjoyed reading it. Keep it up!