Hey i really like the stories of your poems, they have such direction and are really fascinating..

maybe yoiu should change this however:
"A chill runs up and down her spine
As she feels the chilly breeze"

to X breeze, as it would be more effective to use a differnt word than chilly as you used it in the line before, e.g frosty maybe personify it as a person, like words like, angry or hostile,menacing, to create an impending tragedy e.t.c wherever your story make take you?