Wow I loved this poem.. just like everyone else it reminded me of a song. Perfect, I dont typically like thoes kinds of poems but somehow all your words made it magical. I could feel all the love sadness and even a little bit of anger in this poem, but nothing was out of place or too much. Nice flow as well. I'm going to vote for this poem to participate in the weekly contest cause I think it has a shot.
I love this poem...why?...because I love it when poets use metaphors to characterize the meaning of the poem... I especially liked
*I'm sure I'm gonna sink below
-- there's nothing I can do.
I'm running out of oxygen...
(It's all because of you.)
It's the perfect ending...5/5
I loved the bit in brackets and i think having no set rhyming scheme seems to help things seem more raw somehow, dunno how :P but anyway i think this was a really deep powerful poem, i wish i could write like this *grinds teeth with envy* hmmm bye now
I frikken LOVED this!
Such a great opener and from there it just kept getting better and better.
The flow was flawless, the imagery wonderfully done and I didn't want this to end.
You did a great job with this!