Ok. This poem was good throughout, though there a few things I would like to point out.
There are a few spelling mistakes, kind of, with missing letters.
Hill and real don't really rhyme all that well.
"Dead is the child that lived within
Embedded deeper with the sin"
In the second line, the with makes it sound a bit redundant. Maybe chose a different word?
Aside from those, I think You did a great job. Your words are well chosen, and nothing seems too out of place.
Cheers!
Kelsea

"Dead is the child that lived within
Embedded deeper with the sin
Engraved with such shallow fear
Pain that I have held so dear"
Lovely lines....beautigully penned!...Great work on this 1!!...kp writing!
xxPoojaxx

Excellent work! I love how well you rhyme your poems. Some lines here, like:

"Dead half of a tortured soul,
Everything that I used to know."

^ Brilliant!

Nice work.

Once again you left me speachless.. well done all your poems contain sooo much emotion its fantastic and i adore you work keep it up can't wait to read more!! 5/5

"Lasting forever, an unsightly scar
Endlessly wishing on a falling star
My dreams are broken, shattered
It destroyed everything that mattered"

-Excellent. Beautiful imagery throughout this piece, and you look into the theme of devestation in a profound manner. Very well done :).