Comments : Fresh Air

  • Wow the flow was great and you captured death in such a happy way.

    this peom was beautiful i really really liked it
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by nikki

    Wow, now this one i loved, it was great. the subjects you write about are so odd and barely written about. but i gave you a 5/5 coz i thought it was awesome.

  • 11 years ago

    by Boy

    For now, he will walk down towards nature,
    Smelling fragrance in his wonderful afternoon.
    He will take pleasure in his lovely location.
    As the man listens to death's serenading tune

    i loved these lines allot. it realy touched my heart. that was very nicely written specialy the ending was so good. you have great talent. you way of writing is so good.. and that ws nicely panned poem as well take care

    i will must give you 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    The beging was a little slow... but the ending was good.. the flow was really good as well as the word choice.. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Fsams

    Very well written and true words. Great selection of words. Superb 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    It was a pleasure to read this poem, because you show that there is nothing to be afraid of at this age, death will happen, and you need to take it in your stride and just live each day the best you can.
    The flow in this poem was aweosme, and the imagery was flawless.
    Much love, Tara-Kay
    x

  • 11 years ago

    by xPerfect Chaosx

    You captured how death is just a part of nature very well. I like the idea of this poem a lot, and I love how you made the old man satisified with his life, and that he knows that no matter what, you can't go back and change what you have done and what you have said so don't regret it. You did a really good job on the imagry in this poem, I can just imagine an elderly man walking down the street enjoying life, even as he slowly goes toward death, as do we all. This is a lovely poem for being on a sadder topic. 5/5

    Much Love,
    .:Danielle:.

  • 11 years ago

    by TwiztidJuggalette

    Wow...That was really good...After the first stanza I couldn't stop reading...5/5...And thanks for reading and commenting mine.. :]

  • 11 years ago

    by Georgi

    Im not going to pretend i understand this poem, because i have several interpretations but i wont say them incase i spoil it for anyone else, i think this is beautifully written and very inspiring =]
    Geo

  • 11 years ago

    by Debbie

    Unlike Georgi, I actually don't have the ability to extract codes by reading between the poem's lines. I, nevertheless, was relatively delighted reading this thoughtul piece of yours. =]

    "For every time a mother gives birth,
    An aged man will hear death's tune."

    How ghastly Death's tune must be! =O Oh, well, I liked that couplet for showing an equilibrium in reality...

    "For now, he will walk down towards nature,
    Smelling fragrance in his wonderful afternoon.
    He will take pleasure in his lovely location.
    As the man listens to death's serenading tune."

    I adored how you've written it in a rather plaintive, yet serene tone, specially the horrid tune of Death... I've noted some forced lines due to its rhyme scheme, whereas I, being passionate with Nature and Life, can correlate with this lovely piece.

    Nicely done, nonetheless. I gave it a 5/5. =)

    Debbers

    P.S.
    I haven't realized that you reviewed the wrong "Gidson (Acrostic)' until I checked the thread I recently had created. (Correct poem: http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/sad/poems.php?id=878375)
    Thank you for the comment, though, as well as for making me giggle. =)

  • 11 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    Wonderful poem, very powerful! I like the ending, choice of words is excellent as always. Language use is good. Flow was flawless throughout the poem 5/5!

  • 11 years ago

    by Jacqui Armstrong

    Its a great poem and brings across a good story however i didnt feel it flowed particually well... it seemed to jolt about the stanzas sounding very different which personally made it difficult for me to be drawn in..
    still well done

    Jacs

  • 11 years ago

    by Tammie

    Wow, I love this. I've never read anything like it before. It's sad, yet not in a way. That doesn't really make sense I guess, but I like it anyway. The flow flawless, emotion expressed very well, vocab and descriptive words created clear imagery. An excellently penned poem. Great job. 5/5

    Tammie

  • 11 years ago

    by Noelle Wright

    Awh i feel sorry for the old man....But if he isnt worried neither am i GREAT poem ^^

    Noelle

  • 11 years ago

    by Tammie

    Original, and I like it. The flow was flawless, with a good range of vocab and rhyme. The ending really summed this poem up well, I like that you didn't have him die, just hear deaths tune. A very well penned piece. 5/5

    Tammie

  • 11 years ago

    by Lisa

    Wowamazing write
    keep it up
    -Lisa

  • 10 years ago

    by Danielle

    Wondrful. you turned a very "sing-song" kind of rhyme scheme into something beautiful.
    i love the theme of death and rebirth as well.

    wonderful!

  • 10 years ago

    by C P Sharma

    The flow, the diction and the development of the theme are superv. Loved it.

  • 10 years ago

    by eehcuhhhz

    Well done :]