Ooh, this is heavy :( Very sad, As I read this, I heard a weary and tired voice narrating in my head. It's reads like a burden and has a pretty depressive tone (Obviously) :/ But I really liked the way you ended this. It's important that through all of this, the relapses and the questions without the right answers and the dreariness of it, you can still hang onto your strength! I think that is admirable.
Very well-written, Poet

Relapses aren't the easiest I'm sure, but on the bright side it's a way of showing you how strong you are. It's unfortunate they happen though.. but I am sure they teach you a lot about yourself & how far you've come since the initial moment. Always thinking of you, hope you know there's always light at the end of the tunnel, and that you have more strength than you think & many that will always be there for you when you feel you're at your weakest.