Comments : Dying To Forget

  • 8 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Lost in the moment of thoughts of my secret departure,
    I fantasise of having nothing left to live for.

    ^ This is heartbreaking. it knocks the breath right out the reader right away. I think we all have wondered what it was like to die or have nothing left to live for. It is depressing to me that feeling of loneliness that you portray here, because I think a lot of people know that feeling well enough to want to make sure someone is safe. I love the impact this has and how it grips the readers attention.

    Paper plans signed with pencil,
    and a caution that I have the right to remain silent.
    (For it has always been better that way.)

    ^This stanza has a lot going for it as well. The pencil line is wonderful. Because it tells me that plans can change and you can erase what you are feeling or go back to it in time. Silence is a real thing when it comes to sad souls, usually we don't want to talk about our feelings and that in turn makes everything worse then it already is. We stuff and that in turn makes a cycle of negative thoughts and actions and that in turn makes for the write.

    Once upon another time,
    my existence would be as invisible as it felt,
    and I would not be lost
    in powerful thoughts of dying to forget.

    I love this ending as well, because we all feel invisible at one point and that also can lead to a lot of bad thoughts, because all we want to feel is love and know that we are loved inside and out and for who we really are. No one can judge us but people do. anyways This poem for me flowed very well and it was great to read. 5/5