Comments : Eternally (Senryu/Rictameter )

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Andrea,

    Two form in one poem - I like your styles. :O)

    The title speaks literally of: Eternally, something that will last. The fact that this reader doesn't know what makes him read on.

    The Senyru - a poem that tends to be about human foibles.
    The silhouettes suggests (to me) a background of memory - memories that will always be, but only as a scattered outline, a jigsaw thats been slightly messed up and without the vivid colour of when they were first made.

    The Rictameter - a form that starts with 2 syllables, then add two more until you reach 10 then stepped down to the original word containing two syllables.

    To me the poem talks about 'borrow time' knowing that time is limited, that one day the memories will be all that is left. Living beneath this cloud, like a time capsule, not knowing when, where or how the memories will stop filling it. The empty shell of limbs, smiles shows how hollow life becomes when all is gone that is physical.

    Andrea, I know this is personal to you and this makes it all the more poignant.

    Thanks for sharing,

    Hugs x

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Dang Andrea! You really know how to set the bar high! Beautifully done!

  • 7 years ago

    by cassie hughes

    Beautifully written Andrea and the two forms together make a wonderful whole. Skillfully done.