Super Awesome Amazing Poetry Contest

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    I don't claim to know much about poetry, but if you want to subject yourself to my bias, please join!

    You'll have 5 days for the first submission (Round 1), then 3 days for each subsequent submission (Rounds 2, 3, 4, and 5 depending on how many participants there are). This means we may end with a default winner if people don't get their poems in on time :P

    Round 1 will eliminate 1 participant if there are 5 or less poems submitted, 2 participants if there are 5-10 poems submitted, and 3 participants if there are 10+ poems submitted.
    Each subsequent round will eliminate 1 participant.

    Important:
    -I'm the only judge and I have weird taste (don't take it personally).
    -I will give ONE sentence of feedback per poem.
    -There are no points accumulated; if you're out, you're out.
    -Don't post poems to your accounts until the round has ended.
    -Poems must be newly written and your own (one per Round).
    -Poems that don't abide by the Round's rules will be disqualified.
    -No late submissions accepted.
    -Post poems in this thread.
    -You may continue to edit your poems until the Round is closed.
    -1st place will receive 10 R/R/C from me.

    ROUND ONE:
    Write me a nature haiku about the weather outside! Remember, haikus consist of 3 lines. The first line is 5 syllables, the second line is 7 syllables, and the third is 5 syllables again. You MUST walk outside and observe the weather for no less than 30 seconds before coming back inside and writing your poem :)
    Show me, don't tell me. Sights, sounds, smells, etc.

    Due midnight, July 6th [PnQ time].

  • Poet on the Piano
    3 years ago

    Excited, thanks for posting this Jane! I like how you're prompting us to go out and be with nature (and get off the Internet for at least 30 seconds or so).

    Hope people join in :]

  • Colm
    3 years ago

    From outside, windows
    Are mirrors reflecting fire
    Of a surfing sun.

  • Everlasting
    3 years ago

    Grey clouds, a lit light;
    raindrops echo frogs croaking
    children out the house

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    PotP, I hope you submit a haiku :) Thank you for the support.

    Colm and Everlasting - beautiful!

    I'm thinking about extending the first deadline. Seems like the reasonable thing to do, otherwise it's a versus battle lol. What do you guys think?

  • Poet on the Piano
    3 years ago

    Sure! And nope, didn't forget to write one.... I just waited until the last few hours lol. And if you want to extend for a few days, that might be good so it's not the three of us against each other. Maybe a few more will join?

    Young clouds storytell,
    Rain flirts with lonesome zephyrs,
    Heaven breeds chaos.

  • Colm
    3 years ago

    Yep extending sounds good :)

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    No takers?

  • abracadabra
    3 years ago

    Hi Jane. Good on ya. Here's mine.

    Whipped

    Mad winds fling dead leaves
    toward trees that quiver with
    nothing left to give.

  • Nicko
    3 years ago

    Here goes.........

    resonance

    Thunder rumbling on
    Echoes to eternity
    Blackened night shivers

  • Baby Rainbow
    3 years ago

    After the storm

    windswept summer trees
    smiling warmly with soft air,
    sunshine drying leaves

  • Hannah Lizette
    3 years ago

    Cattails slow dance as
    the sun slowly dips into
    a pool of romance.

  • abracadabra
    3 years ago

    Yeah, this is good.

    Nicko's, BR's and my haikus could almost be a sequence (except it changes from winter to summer).

  • Baby Rainbow
    3 years ago

    You are right! :)

    great poems everyone.

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    Yay! Haha, thanks to the final burst of poems, this is still a contest. 7 poems submitted.

    Round 1 closed. Results coming soon. Round 2 posted tomorrow.

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    Sorry! Might be a short delay. Busy, busy.

  • abracadabra
    3 years ago

    Jane, I'm bored.

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    Hello. I went on a 4 day Yosemite trip and got back last night. Now I'm really, really sick. This is going to be postponed for a few more days. I'm sorry I suck.

  • Poet on the Piano
    3 years ago

    Feel better!

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    I'm sorry this has taken me so long. My immune system is useless. Results coming in the next hour! 7 poems submitted = 2 poems cut.

    EDIT:
    Thank you to Colm, Everlasting, PotP, Abby, Nicko, Baby Rainbow, and Hannah Lizette for participating in the first round of my Super Awesome Amazing Poetry Contest. Excellent job on syllable counting, not one of you screwed up... I was hoping two of you would so elimination would be easier :) Truly lovely haikus from all! However, two MUST be eliminated. Let me go through and comment first since that's less daunting.

    EDIT AGAIN:
    I'm going to ask my boyfriend to help me cut 2 poems when he's back from work in a few hours!

    (1)
    From outside, windows
    Are mirrors reflecting fire
    Of a surfing sun.

    Comment: Stepping outside to look back inside is an interesting twist, the imagery here comes quick to the imagination; it's striking, and "surfing" is used in a way I've never read before...kudos!

    ----

    (2)
    Grey clouds, a lit light;
    raindrops echo frogs croaking
    children out the house

    Comment: What's left unsaid in this haiku is equally important to the setting- I imagine early morning after a storm and children are leaving the house for school in sort of a quiet, suburban neighborhood... lovely.

    ----

    (3)
    Young clouds storytell,
    Rain flirts with lonesome zephyrs,
    Heaven breeds chaos.

    Comment: I assume zephyrs here is meant to mean light winds, not cars (which I had to look up, nice!), but I'm not sure if I like the escalation in the last line- then again, the build from soft, white clouds to rain and intermittent breezes, then perhaps a storm brewing in the sky... that's pretty cool you could sum that up in 17 syllables.

    ----

    (4)
    Whipped

    Mad winds fling dead leaves
    toward trees that quiver with
    nothing left to give.

    Comment: I imagine mad winds might be more violent than 'flinging' dead leaves (I'm not sure what word would be better, so maybe 'fling' is perfect), but I love the title and I can picture the whole scene wonderfully... Might I add, trees quivering with nothing left to give: perfect.

    ----

    (5)
    resonance

    Thunder rumbling on
    Echoes to eternity
    Blackened night shivers

    Comment: I shuddered at the storm you so easily described and love the personification of night in the last line, but I find "echoes to eternity" a little too familiar, like I've read it many times before (if I haven't, then that's a good thing!)... Also, the title adds an extra element that I love.

    ----

    (6)
    After the storm

    windswept summer trees
    smiling warmly with soft air,
    sunshine drying leaves

    Comment: Your title is the perfect introduction to a very pretty poem, and as usual, I love the personification of trees with their windswept leaves/moss (just a guess) and warm smiles... I can picture trees stretching their limbs out to dry off under the golden rays (or did I just add that?).

    ----

    (7)
    Cattails slow dance as
    the sun slowly dips into
    a pool of romance.

    Comment: I have always adored cattails, so you might have an advantage by including them in your poem, and I'm left wondering where you live that cattails are within view (by a body of water, surely). Anyway, I love your haiku - especially 'sun slowly dips into a pool' until reaching 'of romance' (I find the expression a little too flowery, but that's personal taste).

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    Ok, my boyfriend and I discussed the poems and debated for a little while because we definitely did not agree, haha.

    My conclusion is that #2 and #3 will be eliminated. I already regret my decision :)

    Thanks for participating, Everlasting and PotP! Better luck next time. Both lovely haikus.

    Round 2 will be posted tomorrow.

  • Hannah Lizette
    3 years ago

    Thank you! I love cattails as well.I live in Kentucky and have a small pond behind my house where they grow like crazy. Lol

  • Everlasting
    3 years ago

    Grey clouds, a lit light;
    raindrops echo frogs croaking
    children out the house

    Ouch I wasn't that clear. I meant to say that it was raining but the raindrops sort of echoed the frogs croaking. Lol
    My semicolon was misplaced. It should have been in the middle sentence.

    nice entries everyone. I'm looking forward to see what you guys come up for the second round. All the best.

  • Nicko
    3 years ago

    Hey Jane...mmmm you might be right about
    "Echoes to eternity" it's a notable line out of a movie I love "Gladiator" when Maximus says to his troops before they attack "What we do in life echoes to eternity" though I wasn't thinking about that at the time I wrote this...

  • Baby Rainbow
    3 years ago

    Great work everyone - I am always so fascinated at how many avenues emerge from one prompt, through several writers!

    All so different!

    Can't wait for round 2!

    P.s... hope you feel better soon Jane.

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    Hannah, you are the first person I've met who lives in Kentucky. How do you like it?

    Everlasting, you're a great sport and I loved the haiku, don't take it personally. Hate to say it, but I bounced around a lot before making a final decision. If I were in a different mood at the time, results would've been different :)

    Nicko, yep, that's it. I LOVE THAT MOVIE. Have seen it at least a dozen times. Actually, it's been awhile... should probably watch it again soon, ha. Thanks for the reminder.

    Baby Rainbow, I know exactly what I want to do for round 2, but my internet was down earlier and I just checked back now before going to bed. Will have to post it up tomorrow. Hope you guys like it. I'm nervous. And thanks, I am feeling better today.

  • abracadabra
    3 years ago

    Thanks Jane! Come to think of it, I might change 'fling' to 'throw'. Didn't realise that 'fling' often comes with a casual nuance.

    The cattails haiku was my fave.

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    AHA!!! My internet is finally working. Can post this:

    BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. And now, competitors, for round two!
    Remember...
    "-I'm the only judge and I have weird taste (don't take it personally).
    -I will give ONE sentence of feedback per poem.
    -There are no points accumulated; if you're out, you're out.
    -Don't post poems to your accounts until the round has ended.
    -Poems must be newly written and your own (one per Round).
    -Poems that don't abide by the Round's rules will be disqualified.
    -No late submissions accepted.
    -Post poems in this thread.
    -You may continue to edit your poems until the Round is closed.
    -1st place will receive 10 R/R/C from me."

    ROUND TWO:

    Part One
    Click the link below and read "My 'Naked' Truth" by Robin Korth. Skip the video because it's irrelevant, but read the article (scroll down about a page) in its entirety. Really.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robin-korth/sex-over-50_b_5563576.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000039

    Part Two
    Any time in the next three days, perhaps when you're home alone and have nothing else going on, I want you to sit or stand (or whatever position you prefer) in front of a full length mirror - NAKED (no clothes; no makeup) - for at least 5 minutes. Set an alarm. Look at yourself and reflect on the vessel that's grown, and changed, and carried you through your life.
    If you don't have a full length mirror, do your best :)

    Part Three
    Write a poem on the experience!
    -Must be between 20 and 50 lines.
    -Can be any style (formed or free).
    -Please, nothing vulgar.

    Due midnight, July 31st [PnQ time].

  • abracadabra
    3 years ago

    Sure, I check out my body every day. Try and get me AWAY from the mirror!

    Just kidding. Kind of.

  • abracadabra
    3 years ago

    Jane, I completed your exercises after having a bath. Then I blurted out this poem. It's very rough, but since we're allowed to edit our submissions later, I thought I'd submit it as is for now.

    Burn After Reading

    One day this will go so I speak for it now.

    If extracted from a shipwreck or
    imprinted beneath Vesuvian ash,
    if found still and cold upon the morning,
    let it be known:

    This loved to dance. You knew that.
    This had seven stitches and no broken bones.
    Indulged and comfortable, this was
    usually used to lie in bed or sit down,
    reading and dreaming. The big, bony feet
    strode deliberately with arms swinging low.
    These hips never found jeans that fit. This
    had a single white hair that stuck straight
    out of the dark tangle on its head.
    You found it first. The red birthmark
    wanted to be kissed all the time.
    This grew tall, too tall. Its flesh was
    clutched in hungry handfuls by its lovers.
    Those odd-shaped ears listened for
    the sound of your guitar when
    coming home. The long artist fingers
    weren't good at anything except
    touching everything. The nails
    were always filled with dirt. This
    never learnt to ski or surf, but it saw
    the earth's towering mountains,
    the filthiest slums, a cell splitting
    under a microscope and all the
    the bursting chaos of heaven
    with bright black eyes. You could see
    its heart beat through the ribs after
    making love. The circumference of
    these ankles was the exact length
    between your middle finger and thumb.
    This found sleep curved around you
    each night with its squishy nose
    pressed flat against your skin.

    These were the only things I truly knew.
    This contained an entire universe
    that disappeared like a snowflake
    falling on water, only to be born again.

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    Woooooooooooow. That's what I'm talking about!
    Can't wait for more entries. Has anyone else seen this? Guess I should send out PM's.

  • Baby Rainbow
    3 years ago

    Sorry Jane - have seen this, and thank you for PM to remind me.

    I will get mine handed in ASAP.

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    I can give a small extension if needed :)

  • Hannah Lizette
    3 years ago

    My spine twitches like a
    nervous eye as I observe
    the reflection of a
    cursive body that holds
    unpoetic warfare
    within the creases
    of my flesh.

    My nose crinkles as
    I turn left to right,
    front to behind,
    head swiveling
    to catch a glimpse
    of knotted hair
    and a reserved spot
    for ink that'll
    never dry.

    Your hands rest atop
    my shoulders and slowly
    slide down the length
    of my rawboned arms,
    eventually crossing
    against my navel
    before I can object -

    our gaze unites
    within a mirror
    (that exposes too
    much of me and
    too little of you)
    and you simply
    sigh,

    "One day,
    the beauty I
    see every single
    day will unveil
    itself to you."

  • Baby Rainbow
    3 years ago

    Reclaiming My Reflection

    Terrified to trace my fingers
    along the outline of my rigid body,
    I force my trembling hands
    to rest upon my thighs, as I
    kneel naked before this mirror.

    Blinking away tears of disgust,
    shame escapes from my eyes
    as I stare at the reflection of a stranger
    who is trapped inside this damaged shell.

    My fingers begin to trace
    my delicate skin, as I force myself
    to be brave enough to claim back
    every inch of my body that I once
    thought would always belong to him.

    Touching my body for the very first time,
    I caress every scar that shows
    the battles I have fought,
    and all the tormented nights that
    I spent being tortured in his chambers.

    But although I may be wounded,
    I can proudly say I won.
    Because inside my heart of courage,
    I know what must be done;
    I must reclaim my body,
    my mind,
    my heart,
    my soul.

    For this body is my home,
    and I will learn to love it all
    as something only I
    shall ever own!

    Saffie
    23

    31/7/14

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    Wow! Both of your poems gave me shivers. The hairs on my arm are standing straight. So impressed with the talent here.

  • Nicko
    3 years ago

    It's all about ME.

    What is me
    Arteries and veins, blood and glob
    A complicated mishmash of muscle, bone and skin
    Hair and armpits, fingers and nose
    Put together in a most unique way that is me
    Only me, nobody else but me
    Everyday I look at me
    Everyday of my life
    Everyday it is different
    A pimple here
    A bruise there, that I know not how ?
    A cut or coldsore, cracked lip, peeling skin
    Feck a grey hair
    Nose hair, ear hair
    My six packs gone, washed off in the shower
    Replaced with a tyre

    Still inside seems mostly the same
    I burp and fart
    But ohhhh wait my aching back
    Got to get down on all fours to pick up my cruds
    Or I'm no use to man nor beast for a week or two
    Then there's scars
    Like a cat of nine tails
    My hands seem to get in the way of everything sharp
    Should wear my glasses more
    If I knew where they were

    So this is the new me
    I'm a new me everyday
    I'm mostly ok with that
    Yet I'm told getting old can be graceful
    Bugger me it's not graceful
    It's bloody brutal
    So that's it from me

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    Colm!!!!!

  • Colm
    3 years ago

    A draft from somewhere tickled
    my cheeks, my toes took a minute
    to climatise to the cold tile floor.
    It wasn't long
    before I started to see the things I missed
    in the post-shower layer of steam that usually
    coated the mirror - A freckle resting
    on my collar bone, an intensification
    of combover-style forearm hairs. I spotted
    where last weeks Dominos pizza had hibernated
    in the den of my waist.

    A faint pink, penny size piece
    of skin coating my knee reminded me
    of the fall I had at Murphy's, how I cried
    my 10year old eyes saw the blood. And
    the patch of off-brown under my armpit
    reminded me of the birthday I can't remember.

    My fingers are stubby. My nose sticks out
    like a crook and my hair is a Savannah-like mess.
    I hope that I can see these signatures years
    from now and smile like the man in the mirror
    is doing, gimpishly, now.

  • silvershoes
    3 years ago

    Wonderful. All of you. This round is now closed and results will be posted in a couple days.