I'm sorry this has taken me so long. My immune system is useless. Results coming in the next hour! 7 poems submitted = 2 poems cut.
Thank you to Colm, Everlasting, PotP, Abby, Nicko, Baby Rainbow, and Hannah Lizette for participating in the first round of my Super Awesome Amazing Poetry Contest. Excellent job on syllable counting, not one of you screwed up... I was hoping two of you would so elimination would be easier :) Truly lovely haikus from all! However, two MUST be eliminated. Let me go through and comment first since that's less daunting.
I'm going to ask my boyfriend to help me cut 2 poems when he's back from work in a few hours!
From outside, windows
Are mirrors reflecting fire
Of a surfing sun.
Comment: Stepping outside to look back inside is an interesting twist, the imagery here comes quick to the imagination; it's striking, and "surfing" is used in a way I've never read before...kudos!
Grey clouds, a lit light;
raindrops echo frogs croaking
children out the house
Comment: What's left unsaid in this haiku is equally important to the setting- I imagine early morning after a storm and children are leaving the house for school in sort of a quiet, suburban neighborhood... lovely.
Young clouds storytell,
Rain flirts with lonesome zephyrs,
Heaven breeds chaos.
Comment: I assume zephyrs here is meant to mean light winds, not cars (which I had to look up, nice!), but I'm not sure if I like the escalation in the last line- then again, the build from soft, white clouds to rain and intermittent breezes, then perhaps a storm brewing in the sky... that's pretty cool you could sum that up in 17 syllables.
Mad winds fling dead leaves
toward trees that quiver with
nothing left to give.
Comment: I imagine mad winds might be more violent than 'flinging' dead leaves (I'm not sure what word would be better, so maybe 'fling' is perfect), but I love the title and I can picture the whole scene wonderfully... Might I add, trees quivering with nothing left to give: perfect.
Thunder rumbling on
Echoes to eternity
Blackened night shivers
Comment: I shuddered at the storm you so easily described and love the personification of night in the last line, but I find "echoes to eternity" a little too familiar, like I've read it many times before (if I haven't, then that's a good thing!)... Also, the title adds an extra element that I love.
After the storm
windswept summer trees
smiling warmly with soft air,
sunshine drying leaves
Comment: Your title is the perfect introduction to a very pretty poem, and as usual, I love the personification of trees with their windswept leaves/moss (just a guess) and warm smiles... I can picture trees stretching their limbs out to dry off under the golden rays (or did I just add that?).
Cattails slow dance as
the sun slowly dips into
a pool of romance.
Comment: I have always adored cattails, so you might have an advantage by including them in your poem, and I'm left wondering where you live that cattails are within view (by a body of water, surely). Anyway, I love your haiku - especially 'sun slowly dips into a pool' until reaching 'of romance' (I find the expression a little too flowery, but that's personal taste).