Weekly Contest Results 4/23/18

Another week of great poetry with no less than 9 poets receiving votes from our judges. Congratulations to the three well deserved winners: Thomas' "balloons" is bursting with somber metaphor; Meena's "You and Me" drips with alliterative, romantic verse; Ben's "Was Once So Bountiful" seeps sorrowful truths of our world. Congratulations also to the honorable mentions this week, and thank you to the judges and sub judges for your hard work and dedication.

-Jane

BREAKDOWN OF VOTES:

balloons by Thomas: 10 + 10 + 10 = 30

You and Me by Meena Krish: 10 + 7 + 7 = 24

Was Once So Bountiful by Ben Pickard: 7 + 4 = 11

Untitled No.3 by nourayasmine: 10

The Road Is Long by Maple Tree: 4 + 4 = 8

Filthy - Rejected by the Earth, Disdained by the Heavens by Kakera: 7

Still lonely here by Mark: 7

30th September. by Rosy Cheeks and Irony: 4

She is… Cheetah (Palindrome) by Michael: 4

COMMENTS ON WINNING POEMS:

balloons
by Thomas

"I feel, hear and see this poem so clearly. I love how you grab the reader in that first stanza and I am taken by the sheer joy of watching someone release a balloon, thinking like a child, wondering where it will end up, what message it will send into the sky. The way you started off, confident and almost factual, to the realization that this person is no longer in your path, it hits hard. The simile of rising like a balloon, the very way in which we must get out of bed despite our spirit falling, it questions what motives we have… what inspiration we have to move on. This poem is packed with honesty and a range of emotions, like a journey that you know you must go through, and as you wrote in the final lines, these scattered pieces of you (much like the remnants of the balloon and memories with this person) have to mean something. You may not be able to go back to being who you were before this person, it will be a different perhaps changed you, but nonetheless, you will continue on. There was, at least from what I perceived, a resolute promise that even though you wish you could stay in those remnants of the past, at the end of the day, you will survive and create a new meaning for yourself. A hopeful piece with a great deal of perspective." (10)

"With such a title as 'balloons' I was curious to read the authors’ content. As I started to read the first few lines, I immediately became drawn into this poem. The author describes a picture of 'balloon' being released into the air. The author then continues with a quite detailed depiction of what happens to their balloon, and as their story unfolds. The author then reflects – by comparing their balloon bursting into 'confetti-small fragments' which may or may not fall or return, I sense the metaphor is of someone special.
The author has penned this piece in a clever way of a comparison to a likeness of their ‘bubble bursting’ where a loved one is concerned. The imagery in which the author paints of their 'life' before, and now back to old routines, now that special person is no longer with them, which holds I believe a deep and profound sadness.
The author has written this using subtle words that flow really well, along with vivid images for the reader. A poem that captures the authors emotions, with missing someone special. Very nicely done." (10)

"This piece by Thomas is most certainly one of those pieces that stays with you long after you've read it so you have to re-read it to fully grasp what about it sticks in ones mind then realise you cannot pinpoint just one piece of it. As Mr Darcy stated the point Thomas is trying to make is completely crystal clear: one of brokenheartedness and one of longing for a life before he became broken hearted. Fantastic imagery and an all round superb piece." (10)

----

You and Me
by Meena Krish

"I loved Meena’s poem. It speaks so honestly about a classic ‘opposites attract’ relationship, where the differences between them ought to amount to more than the love they share. And yet, despite all the battles, people trying to come between them, and not believing their suitability for each other - this person is the one that can break down the barriers and create those unforgettable moments. The last two lines: “when roses clash and white rain blossoms” are perfect and sum up how the clashing of the ‘roses’ creates something even more special. The frankness of feelings displayed here is refreshing - there are no airs or graces about the things that cause them to clash and no apportioning of blame or declaring that one is more at fault that the other. It’s very real and that really appealed to me. Really well done!" (10)

"I just love how the title simple says it all, the whole poem indeed is all about 'you, and, me.'

I and perhaps many others could find themselves relating to this beautiful tide, or ebb and flow relationship , if I shall say.

There is so much depth in wording your emotions and the imaginary is ultimately beautiful and passionate.

Apart from the wording and the emotions, the poem is very well structured with an admirable flow and coherent structure.

I just loved it." (7)

"The author paints a beautiful scene here, in which they show me their emotions and feelings using nature – describing how a relationship has many differences, and the irony of how those differences can then be joined to produce harmony. The author has penned such a wonderful and powerful story of their clashes with a special person in their life.
Each verse flows well into one another, and unfolds a different image. A poem that shows that we all have opposites, however they do engage with one another to produce beauty. I feel the author has written with such emotion, and they have penned themselves right into the core of this piece.
A gentle, but with a moody undertone gives this poem a personal feeling from their heart that relationships endure. Very well done." (7)

----

Was Once So Bountiful by Ben Pickard

"There can’t be a soul alive that hasn’t had these thoughts before. Ben’s beautiful poetic language, flawless rhyme and flowing meter contrast sharply with the message being conveyed and I just loved that juxtaposition, despite the serious topic. The alliteration sprinkled throughout (grieve/groves, mourn/moors etc.) also adds to the impact of the actual reading of the poem. Each natural feature is described along with how we’ve spoiled it – continuing the dichotomous theme. As a reader, mixed emotions are also elicited through the imagery of the poem from enjoying how it’s written, to feeling sad and ashamed of what we’ve done to it. A clever poem indeed." (7)

"I very much enjoyed reading this poem. The author paints a picture of an all to familiar image of how mankind is diminishing the beauty here on earth, and the recent story of how much our oceans are being polluted which is destroying sea-life. The author projects their feelings into this poem, which is rife with messages of how the world sadly is today.
I like the way in which the author uses words to describe the their scene, which gives a simplistic understanding. I admire authors who are passionate about particular subjects, and this poem certainly does that.
Like myself and many - I am sure this resonates at all levels how the world is now! A really well written poem with a stark reality. Well done." (4)

[Janis' 12000 character count won't let me post the honorable mention comments in the same block of text. Please scroll down to my second post.]

COMMENTS ON HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Untitled No.3
by nourayasmine

"This is very sad and emotional. It hurts. I was moved by every single line. The poet has a thing with making the scenes so vivid and so real.

The load of fear and helplessness is so immense. The thunder/bombing connotation of fire and fear could be heard and imagined. It gave me goosebumps.

Searching...for the will to live. Still looking for the will to live, while many others wish to be dead on surviving so much death.

Very touching, thought-provoking poem." (10)

----

The Road is Long
by Maple Tree

"This write oozes with sadness and in my opinion some very genius metaphors and though it's very sombre and somewhat longing it is extremely beautiful." (4)

"The road is long and hard indeed. Even after reading the poem, the reader could feel the load, the heaviness and the weight behind even trying to hold on. And just reading about it is so tyring and yet so inspiring.

The 1st part of the poem was more visual and poetic with mesmerizing wording; "sip depresssion, smelling diesel, drifting tumbleweed..." all of these were very sad and vivid phrases.

The second half was more realistically harsh and touching. Sometimes humans can be judgmental and insensitve..and that, actually makes the road even longer and harder.

Very powerful." (4)

----

Filthy - Rejected by the Earth, Disdained by the Heavens
by Kakera

"I don’t know quite how to comment on this piece, because I haven’t quite read anything like it. I honestly got chills from reading each stanza and the progression of your honesty, raw feelings and that ache of needing someone there. This was an intense and intimate piece, as I noticed in response to a comment you wrote that you feel this might be the most real poem you’ve ever written. I haven’t read much of your recent poetry, but the reality that you wrote this without much impulse or thought makes this poem even more honesty, like it doesn’t withhold anything for fear of how it may seem to the reader.

This seemed like a poem created out of necessity, that you had to pen this or the tension and anxiety and compulsions would be too overwhelming. I have boundless amounts of respect for you and just as a reader, not knowing you personally, I did feel a little fear for you in this poem. Because of the reality of suicidal thoughts, of the reality that you can’t sleep and you’re faced with this despair. It’s like the ultimate battle going on in your mind and it’s so hard to find logic when you witness tragedy and these feelings that seem to bury any promise of comfort or rest.

I only voted a 7 as there are a few spots in the poem where it seemed rushed (understandably) and you ran a few words together or forget a word or two, but again, this poem is outstanding in its authenticity that no one can claim but you. I loved the depth of the title and the length of this poem because there is no limit to the amount of pain we go through, or the need to write it out somehow. I’m so thankful and glad Jamie nominated this piece.
I know too well that sometimes it seems like empty words to say 'it gets better,' that it’s clichéd and often undermines the heaviness of the situation, so I won’t say that. May I say though that I hope you live longer and are able to soon live a life without this threat and shadow of fear." (7)

----

Still lonely here
by Mark

"The title made me believe this piece was about being lonely as in with nobody to love then I read the piece itself (many times might I add) and realised that infact this, or so I think, is about depression and I have to say though this is a saddening piece it was beautifully penned with some extremely powerful imagery. Unfortunately depression can make us feel like we're all alone even if we're surrounded by people who love us." (7)

----

30th September.
by Rosy Cheeks And Irony

"I’ve always found you write with such sincerity, a genuine voice that gives truth to what is sometimes hardest to express. Especially in regards to a loss that seems impossible, insurmountable. I loved how you penned the profound meaning of 'sanctuary' and 'stay', as well as the significance of what others may assume is self-destructive behaviors, but really, your desire to be heard and summon this beautiful person. You’re so right, it never is simple. As humans we endure suffering and endless situations where we are faced with despair, and we are expected to move on. But few people can understand that each person is different, that when you have a bond and connection with someone, and you have that taken away, you become desperate for some way to communicate or remember them. I feel like the format of this poem was a bit broken up near the middle and the lines could be separated better in order to help the flow, but that’s only a suggestion. An emotional, heart-wrenching piece." (4)

----

She is … Cheetah (Palindrome)
by Michael

"I have really enjoyed reading everyone’s formed poems and particularly palindromes. I loved Michael’s description of a cheetah – celebrating its unique beauty and highlighting those wonderful features. The fact that it reads just as well backwards is owed to clever and careful placement of each and every word. Beautiful!" (4)

Thanks Em for nominating my poem ( even though it was no hm or win).

To the judge who voted and commented on kakera's poem, my hat is off to you. I really am glad someone saw what I saw in it. I am sad it did not win though because imo it was the one of the better poems this week.

Congrats to Thomas, Meena & Ben & to the HMs as well . Thank you judges and thanks Jane for hosting.

Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! Stellar writes all around. Thank you Naaz for my nomination. I appreciate you....as always, thank you judges and for you Jane for hosting. I greatly appreciate your time you all put in.

Wonderful poems! Congrats to Thomas, Ben & Meena... as well as all the HM's! Thank you to our judges and of course Jane for hosting.

Congratulations to Thomas and Ben and to all those who received a HM.
Thank you judges for the votes and comments on my write...appreciate it and thank
you Micheal for the nomination.

Thank you Jane for hosting this week's contest :)

Hi all :)

Congratulations to all winners and HMs awarded. Some great poems again this week

thank you to the judge for my HM and their comments, most appreciated and to naaz for my nomination

Much love

M:)x

Congratulations to our front page winners, the HM's and the nominated ones.

Thanks to judges and moderators for all their support and love towards all of us.

Thanks to Jane for hosting the contest this week.

Let's cheer up together for Thomas, Ms Meena, and Ben Pickard on their perfect win.

Love you all!

Some wonderful poems this week, and I have to be honest and say I'm flattered to share the front page with two outstanding pieces. Some wonderful hms, too.
Thank you to the judges for their constant time and hard work and for the comments on my poem, thank you Michael for the nomination and congratulations to all involved.

Ben

Thank you to the judges and everyone else for their kind words on my poem and Jane for hosting. I guess I can write a personal piece after all (I still don’t like doing it though).

Congratulations Ben and Meena, honored sharing the front page with you two. And congratulations to all of the HMs and all those nominated.
Having judged before, it’s nearly impossible trying to just pick a few poems from all the nominees each week because of how talented the people on this site are.

Congrats to all winners, HMs and nominees ... another week of great poetry! :-)
=^.^=

Thank you Jane for hosting this week. Congratulations to all the winners. Read so many different styles and really good poems.
Sincere thanks to our wonderful judges and moderators behind everything. Thanks to brenda and Michael for nominating my poems. And thanks to all the pnq friends for supporting me.

Thank you to everyone who helps make this weekly event special. Congratulations to the 3 top spots and to the HM'S. Super writes.
Fantastic.

Congratulations front pagers and HMs thanks judges and mods and Jane for hosting