Poetry Challenge part 2: Quaterns

Many people on this site have inspired me to write different types of poetry. To challenge myself. I would like to thank them for helping me broaden my writing abilities and demand more from myself. It has really been inspiring.

Now for the challenge: write a Quatern.

A Quatern is a sixteen line French form composed of four quatrains. It has a refrain that is in a different place in each quatrain. The first line of stanza one is the second line of stanza two, third line of stanza three, and fourth line of stanza four. A Quatern has eight syllables per line. It does not have to be iambic or follow a set rhyme scheme.
line 1
line 2
line 3
line 4

line 5
line 6 (line 1)
line 7
line 8

line 9
line 10
line 11 (line 1)
line 12

line 13
line 14
line 15
line 16 (line 1)

(The above information is courtesy of a post by bob shank by the way. Thanks bob!)

So get out your pens and papers ladies and gentlemen and come write a quatern...
Ready...GO!

Roses, scattered among the grey,
Insightful images of love.
With what can be said to behold,
Fruitful blossoming from the carer.

Watch him, tread through loves gardens path.
Roses, scattered among the grey,
Tending to each flower kindly.
To find his thumbs, not to be green.

With each rose, wilting passionately.
A carers hands, a clumsy grasp.
Roses, scattered among the grey,
Weeping, demanding a new carer.

Slowly, the garden deep in red,
Turns back into the grey before,
With the carer leaving in deep shame,
Roses, scattered among the grey.

Edit - Yes i even matched the syallbul thing :P
Edit - Oh and also, i love these challenges...i managed to do this in less than 10 minutes though, is there more complicated poetry styles than that to do?

Nice job Sean! And I counted the syllables...each line had 8. Making each line 8 syllables is the tricky part. My turn:

I don’t write because I want to
No thoughts of wealth or dreams of fame
My words will stay after I die
Few will recall this servant’s name

Some write for sheer amusement but
I don’t write because I want to
This thing, my heart demands of me
My soul insists I see it through

A constant need to fashion words
A prized gift from my Creator
I don’t write because I want to
My pen glides across the paper

With little effort on my part
The words just come, my hand just moves
Freeing passions from my heart, no…
I don’t write because I want to

I must admit that I wrote this last night and that's what made me want to present it as the next challenge.

Okay, who's next?

So i did manage to write it correctly or i didn't? (Sorry my reading is a tad confused at times)

I counted up yours, and you have matched the syllables aswell - very well done there, it was a bit tricky but easy enough if you just speak it out loud and use your fingers as you type it bit by bit.

Oops I overlooked a couple of your lines: "Watch him, walk in the garden of love..." That has 9 syllables. And so does "Slowly, the garden so deep in red,.."

See the eight syllabe thing is tricky

Edited and done *feels emberassed for overlooking that*

Nice Sean, despite a few "bummers";)

Come on guys, it's not that hard of a style just you have to make sure you count properly :p

Gasp!
That left me...speechless, (which doesn't happen too often). It left me with images that shall be burned in my brain forever. Thank you, JPM.

Okay...who's next?

Mike that was fantastic. I loved it. And every line has 8 syllables. Nice job.

Okay, who's next?

thanks alot Mike..

I won't submit mine now...

:P

great one

I lied...got one now..

can't really match Mike's one, but hey, who the hell cares.

Like in a dream of starlit skies,
my feet bore me into the wild.
I saw there things I shan't forget,
before the end of time unveils.

I raised my head up, and behold!
Like in a dream of starlit skies,
A falcon flew before the moon,
and left my very eyes enthralled.

While looking there upon the sky,
a subtle feeling struck my mind.
Like in a dream of starlit skies
can fate be part of this world too?

I know not, but still, I saw this.
By purpose or chance, matters not
For I have found true peace of mind,
like in a dream of starlit skies.

Is it very suckable?

who said that?

Besides, I am truly sorry Mike...

If you think mine is better than your's, you are simply wrong:P

but thanks alot for the comment..means so much;)

They were both wonderful if you ask me, (of course mine was the best but hey...just joking).

Good job Enslavement.

thanks:)

I'm going to try one...But it'll take awhile. =-P

And by the way, Enslavement, yours was great!

Hmm..I'm working on it..

Trodden Path

Trodden path, thou layeth ahead
An easy path for weary feet
Thy fruits, they tempt a fatigued soul
Luring this heart to thy failure

In the twilight, under the moon
Trodden path, thou layeth ahead
Tempting a mortal with false hopes
Of a journey easy to make

My eye watches others pass by
Lured by easy roads to travel
Trodden path, thou layeth ahead
Shall I too, fall into thy lies?

Minds of weak will cannot resist
Deception hidden beneath truth
Alas, my soul must make its choice,
Trodden path, thou layeth ahead.

I've been meaning to write one of these since you first posted this, but I kept forgetting! I have to say this was one of the most challenging poems I've ever written! It took me quite a while and I'm still not happy with it!

Please tread lightly upon my heart
for the pieces break with such ease
Bringing painful tears to my eyes
As I fall down upon my knees

Holding the softest part of me
Please tread lightly upon my heart
For words can cut so easily
Ripping my perfect world apart

Divulging my inner most soul
All I shall ever ask of thee
Please tread lightly upon my heart
For you could be my destiny

So take my hand and all of me
We'll begin a triumphant start
Wandering through eternity
Please tread lightly upon my heart

very good people..well too good actually. Quaterns do not follow rhyming schemes.

But good job

Your quatern was lovely Dorotea and I especially loved your quatern HOLLY! Terrific:)

And Enslavement, quaterns can rhyme. They don't have to but they can if you like.

Thank you Amanda, I also liked yours. :)

Hmm..I'm interested in seeing some more Quaterns...

well, i was wrong then:)

Thanks, Amanda! I'm glad you posted this challenge! It's really helped me as a writer!

I like all the poems that have been posted so far! Truly excellent!

I hope there will be more submitted! I really look forward to reading them~Holly

That was nice and original!

Good one, except for one syllable too much in one line...

This was original and it was good. But, "I really hope that flowers will come.." has 9 syllables. Nice try:)

Who's next?

I loved that poem, Chimane:) Good job, chick!

I tried

I do not wear white anymore.
Be it the sum of the rainbow,
the beauty of colors combined.
It will not forever stay so.

Be it innocence's symbol
I do not wear white anymore
This treacherous color, stainless
is never as white as before.

Stains won't forever be absent
how naive to think that they will.
I do not wear white anymore,
but long for the touch of it still.

No, mankind is much to clumsy.
What we touch ends up on the floor.
We pick it up, but it's broken.
I do not wear white anymore.

I liked it, very nice.

No it was definately NOT awful! The message was very sincere. Nice job.

I've been off for a while but now I'm back and posting again.

Chimane: Yes I go to school everyday, because I am an English teacher:)

Bob: Great poem. As usual your poetry is unique and meaningful.

Trackster: Your poem is definitely not awful. I liked it. Good job:)

I gave Quaterns another shot..

A Smell of Autumn

A smell of autumn in the air
As summers lease is drawing nigh,
it's soon to come; my greatest fear
for everything I love will die

The change of seasons wait to kill.
A smell of autumn in the air.
Here, I ,alone, will linger still
while those I love will disappear.

But I have seen it all, my dear
and will not grieve it much too long.
A smell of autumn in the air,
and no one here to sing my song.

Upon this earth we all shall die,
of such a truth I am aware,
thus no good reason left to cry.
A smell of autumn in the air.

Hmm let's see what I can do:p Hope you enjoy:)

Standing here as day turns to night,
My life has become an eternal fight,
Struggling just to see the future,
Wondering if these feelings are pure.

Trying to live my life in light,
Standing here as day turns to night,
Still trying to find some delight,
But all I seem to see is blight.

Looking for lovely redemption,
When something caught my attention,
Standing here as day turns to night,
I see you standing there in might.

You're standing a bit further away,
And I glance the other way,
I feel you looking from over there,
Standing here as day turns to night.

Edited a few typos, hope you like the poem people:)

[Edit again] Just noticed there where suppose to be 8 syllables per line, I think I just faild:( Lol

3d Edit: Re-wrote some things, is it 8 syllables per line now? I think it is but might be wrong, someone please tell me:)