Now that I'm Dead...

One solitary night when I was lying in my bed
I could not help but get lost in the things you said

You told me you loved me
And there was no one else
You told me you cared
And you would be with me until I was dead

Still lying in my bed, water filled my eyes
And I became wise
To the fact you flooded my brain
Effecting me to go insane
Cause you told me you loved me
You told me you cared

I told you I wanted to wait
But you turned it into a debate
Eventually I gave in
And we did not use safe sex

You said it would be better for both
It would help our relationships growth.
Now that I lye here, thoughts of dread
Arose in my head
I trusted you with my life
And now all I have is a baby in my stomach
And a man who says
It isn't his.

Now pills of ecstasy are popping in my mouth
Like a tiger hunting its prey
I began to kneel down and
Ask God to forgive me
Ask God to send me someone to love
And for someone sent from up above
A pain in my chest begins to grow
And as I sit I begin to know
That I was dying and so was the baby
And that it is all over

You said you would always be with me
But you are gone
So I must have done something wrong

What about now? I shouted his name
Tears streaming down my face
I looked at you in disgrace
That picture of you next to my bed
I coughed until blood came out of my nose
And soon my eyes felt heavy, they began to close
Drifting off into an endless sleep
I shouted out his name
With one last breath
I thought to myself

Would he love me now
That I was dead?