If There is a God...

It's been so long since I've lifted a pen -- there are so many words in my head, nothing to say. They flow quickly, now, pouring onto paper in small splashes of ink. They still flow to you. I long to bring back the past but everything remains the same. Same scrawny lines dotted and marked to look as though they may have something to say: the meaning lost before my eyes. If there is a god, it is a cruel god -- it is a god who wishes to destroy peace with vehemence and drown all uttering of sweet sounds. I think back and my mind is drawn to you, it is an old and cliche repetition. I am far from sick of it. It has become a weak comfort that I choose to hold fast to.

If there is love, it is a cruel love -- a powerful drug staining my lips red, keeping me reaching for it's forbidden fruit and I now feel as though I am stagnating in the stream of my own thoughts. I long for forbearance to inspire me with perception from a higher mind, a new sentiment, clean memories and none belonging to you. And yet here you are. In my heart you are still here, no matter how far gone you may truly be. For if there is a god, it is a cruel god -- one who poisons with love.