Time to the Rust of Things

Jane,

I love the tone of this poem and how you made the reader feel the desperation and the grief over a love lost.

it would be great if you would find a way to use the word "there" (4 times )and "cracked shadow" (3 times) less..I found it too much for such a short verse.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed this poem very much, an intelligent write:)

Well done

5/5 Ingrid

Time to the Rust of Things
by Silvershoes TC

"There you were,
Inanimate,
Melting into a cracked shadow,
Enveloped by time."

"There I was, a cracked shadow
of an ontological being."

The author is illusive as an ontolgical being that reveals self- knowledge in distorted tme

"There now! Love,
happiness, forgotten at its
end."
In the grander scale for every end there is a beginning

"Resting beneath a poem of
Unwritten verses,
Still waiting for your
Testament."

Could be a personification of Love or a supreme being

Oh, but only time to etch
forth the rust of things.

Then, there we were,
Happiness elapsed,
Inanimate,
Near the edge of hope, I -
Grasping vainly at your cracked
Shadow.

It seems that your love is just out of your reach

This is a very beautiful poem

Time to the Rust of Things is very profound to me and I believe the metaphors used hear could be taken several ways

There you were,
Inanimate,
Melting into a cracked shadow,
Enveloped by time.

This makes me think of a sun dail illuminated by illusions

There I was, a cracked shadow
of an ontological being.

There now! Love,
happiness, forgotten at its
end.

Resting beneath a poem of
Unwritten verses,
Still waiting for your
Testament.

Oh, but only time to etch
forth the rust of things.

Then, there we were,
Happiness elapsed,
Inanimate,
Near the edge of hope, I -
Grasping vainly at your cracked
Shadow.

relating to or based upon being or existence

Hmm... A very interesting poem to say the least. I liked the style of this poem and how you made the emotions come forth from inanimate objects. As Britt said I truly feel as if there was a lot of sadness in this piece.

Resting beneath a poem of
Unwritten verses,
Still waiting for your
Testament.

This part of your poem really touched me. It is so moving and yet portrays such sadness by waiting for someone until the chosen day. So all in all good job and keep writing.

The style of your poem & the words you used really added to the emotion. I loved the choice of punctuation, it added even more voice to the poem, especially "There now! Love, happiness, forgotten at its end." - Brilliant usage of the exclamation point, almost as if it's the beginning to a significant line in the poem, which it was. You did a very nice job, honestly it left me speechless, I really like the style, it stood out to me the most. Well done