Family Portrait

My favorite part was "If I beheaded them
and stole their pigments,
then maybe our family could become
brighter than a thunderstorm." It gave me the image that you were in the eye of the hurricane and it wasn't only raining on you but on everything. I loved the matter of factness that your words carried, things could have been okay, but they just weren't. And it's sad but it's beautiful too.

[Judging comment from week of 6/24/13]:

I found this poem to be such an expressive poem about the author's family and her view on them over the years. It was personal yet I feel like the author chose her words wisely to portray this "portrait" and sketch of who we imagine her family to be like.

Definitely an eloquent piece, I liked the ease of the stanzas, and how each stanza had a lot to offer between the lines as well, so this could be a very interpreted piece.

The opening metaphor is strong- immediately I pictured the mother's strength, keeping her family afloat and raising her children right even with lifes' storms. I liked that the author mentioned secrets and almost this invisible burden that haunts the mother. Whether it's because she feels powerless to help her own self, or that she can't renew her relationship with her husband, it leaves a lot of questions open.

"My father knows where to find those
broken bones, but doesn't like
being a grave digger."

- This line threw me, I feel like you made this very distinct to show the truth that the father knew of the mother's feelings of hopelessness, but never found repose for them.
Very interesting image, a bit chilling!

The sadness in this poem reminds me of not just communication being lost among family members, but that clarity of understanding. The reason is staring straight at him but the father is still lost as to why there is such an unease between them. The more the author goes on with this write, the more I think and can relate to the author being the "peacemaker", trying to cover up things to move ahead and hide away the hurts...but sometimes they still remain.

A deep, delving write. Gorgeous!

Judging Comment for weekly contest: June 24, 2013

I had a hard time this week. There were real good poems, poems that I wanted to give a 10, sadly I couldn't, but this one was one of them. I love how this poem immediately hits me with imagery and how the metaphor of "my mother is a rickety house" was striking.
The comparison and the ideas flowed smoothly. I can only say that Huntress your poetry amazes me specially when it comes to extended metaphors. You are able to focus on details and by details I mean connecting the thoughts to the images with ease.
As far as my interpretation, I feel the reader can just read it and they will get the gist from the poem. Well done

P.s. I like your accent and the music you picked for this poem.

Judging comment:

"This poem is so heartbreakingly beautiful. It drips with sadness, emotion, vulnerability, yet surprising strength. Huntress explains her coping mechanism, which the entire piece of poetry feels like a therapy experiment (in a good way of course!). I really can't such much about this poem, as it leaves me wandering in my thoughts. So many questions as to why all this pain, why can't it be fixed? Will it ever get better? I think this poem is something so many people can easily relate to, the emotion is stark but the sequence is vague enough that it opens for so much interpretation."

Brilliant piece. Lovely voice as well!