Intrusion

Judging comment:

The opening to this piece is emotional as it first makes me nervous for you, wondering what these strangers are searching for, and it's a brilliant opening once the rest of the poem is read. What breaks my heart is the fact that depression is a disease, but I've heard it described as an invisible disease. And I feel too often, people don't take it seriously, or they think it is something one can simply "get over". I agreee that the metaphor of depression is powerful, quite profound as depression is that intrusive to people, something one must deal with daily. The ending saddens my heart, and the way you end it with repeating those lines is thought-provoking. I think there is still a stigma about mental illnesses as people may not feel comfortable or even know much about them. Your tone in this piece really reaches to the reader and the first time I read it, I was speechless. To hear depression put like that, like you wrote, gives this sense of vulnerability and also reveals how fragile a person is. How the mind can haunt and be beyond our control it seems. Powerful poem. (10)

Judging Comment:

This poem has such a haunting feel to it. The aches
it presents pulls the reader in effortlessly. The one
that really stood out for me was this:

No disease, skin like pearls.
And depression is the oyster
clamping around its treasure.

^^Here depression has been given a lovely image
for such a heavy emotion that sucks us into its world.
I also like the repetition as it allows the reader to
hear the writer's voice and share her pain. A very
touching poem that kept me glued to the writer..
take care.

Done.

I'll be back to leave a proper comment later.

(I know I always say I'll be back, and usually don't. But I WILL be back for this poem. One day.)

muaah.

It is really an amazingly powerful poem. Breaks my heart completely, especially since every line made my scars ache in how much I saw myself reflected within them.

Not much more to say I guess. I love this one so much. Added to favorites. Will be back to read this one many times.

Edit: Can't you guys just wait till monday and nominate then? I really feel this poem does deserve a nomination too.

Argh... absolutely everything Adreamer said. Especially about the nomination part. Not being able to nominate past Friday sucks!! Lol.

What a great poem. I really like the way you have repeated yourself, and how you have broken the poem up into this little choppy layout. It really works well.

The tone is so emotional that the reader feels drawn in to the story, like they are right there with you, and going through the experience at your side. This makes great poetry, and the fact that you have achieved this in such a small poem, is great.

I really like the title, I think it describes the situation perfectly, such a strong word to show something unwanted, and probably unforgettable and traumatic too.

Your depression and oyster line is one of the most powerful lines and metaphors I have ever read, truly breath-taking.

Very good work!