You and I

by Lemon   Sep 13, 2014


It's 4am but we are awake
Sat together in the attic, your arm around me
I watch the movement of your eyes, upturned, staring at the twinkling night
And think of the look in those eyes, the one you have just for me
That private smile
Of "I trust you"
Of "You are my comfort"

I allow memories to flash absently through my mind
Us, running in the park
Us, cuddled up on the sofa; me dozing, you watching movies
Us in the summer heat, you spraying me playfully with the hose
Us... Always us
You and I, like it's always been
"You matter to me" I want to say; "You are my world"
I want to tell you this and so much more
"I love you," "Thank you"
But alas, I can't tell you how special your smile is
Or how comforting your warmth is
Or how much I dearly love you
Because I am just a dog; my words are locked away
All I can do is stay by your side

You and I, like it always will be

*Challenge prompts:
Staring at the twinkling night
In the attic
4am
I want to tell you this and so much more
Flash*

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Mayday

    Okay, this is how I know you're good - lol - Because you had me TRULY convinced that this was from the heart, that you could put such tender little feelings and bouts of nostalgia and warmth into a poem you did as a challenge! Very good work, :D

    5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Title: This is an excellent title as it can mean a lot of things. "You and I" best friends? Lovers forever? Since you put this in the friendship category that tells me it's about that but it still could be a lot of ways you could have taken this.

    First- The detail here is fantastic. Each line holds a small part of the start you crafted. Trust is a very difficult thing to earn so when you can it's definitely worth it. Eyes are amazing to look at especially at night or in the moonlight. The attic is a great location because it's not used a lot. Okay this person is looking at the twinkling night, the stars and the moon, so that can say a lot, either they woke up and went to the attic, or their bedroom is in the attic and there is a glass ceiling. Either way it's a perfect description of a great night. The smile is also a lovely touch because of the happiness they both feel.

    Ending- This is such a beautiful scene you have painted for the reader through your eyes. Running in the park and dozing off, there is such love and friendship here. The twist at the end is great, you don't expect it to be a dig. You are the dog and you are looking through their eyes. Which is unique and difficult to pull off. But you did so well here. Dozing is a great word to use, because that's what dogs do. This poem I feel was crafted very well and nothing needs to be changed! Though I wish I could nominate, friendship poems we cannot. 5/5

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