Watching and weeping as time drips away

by Darren   Feb 8, 2015


The dew drop enlarges
it shudders
then falling
whilst stretching
purely to cushion any blow
as the decent
hastens an end
that was handed out at birth.

The leaf waves goodbye
as the weight leaves its mind
the trampoline effect
dancing plants beginning to spook.

Tear tracks absorbed
my reflection watches my height increase
as the floor welcomes new droplets
minor puddles insignificant and hidden.

My dew carries no weight
my tomorrows are soon yesterdays
saturated foliage may canter
just wasted water to me.

2


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  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    The dew drop enlarges
    it shudders
    then falling
    whilst stretching
    purely to cushion any blow
    as the decent
    hastens an end
    that was handed out at birth.

    ^ Such beautiful imagery to start the poem out with, and something I caught right away was the irony of this piece, well the birth is wonderful, it is short lived overall, In a moment of time you captured a beauty and gave it form and almost a personality like. The emotions here are valid and interesting.

    The leaf waves goodbye
    as the weight leaves its mind
    the trampoline effect
    dancing plants beginning to spook.

    The cycle of life continues in this stanza and now you give the reader somewhat of an idea of what is going on and what this "object" is, it could be a rain drop or a tear drop that you focus on clearly enough to be the main character and that in itself is difficult to pull off in poetry. The sadness that this object brought to the leaf is now off and now the leaf can breath again.

    Tear tracks absorbed
    my reflection watches my height increase
    as the floor welcomes new droplets
    minor puddles insignificant and hidden.

    Tears are rolling from your eyes onto the floor. Actually this poem still could be a lot of different ways. It is interesting how you made the readers mind jump from on point to another. But as far as this stanza goers, it seems like the feelings you have, you are trying to hide from the world and they don't matter at all.

    My dew carries no weight
    my tomorrows are soon yesterdays
    saturated foliage may canter
    just wasted water to me.

    This is a great last stanza, the plot of the poem almost. from beginning to end, you led us on a journey of some kind of droplet that is traveling far to the floor and in that you let us see its true feelings but it ended up being from you, so in turn you are the character that is controlling the tear. Such an interesting write. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by earlgreytea

    Sad but deep, well thought out, and beautiful.

    • 9 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Avery, appreciate you reading.

  • 9 years ago

    by Kristen

    This is such a beautiful yet sad poem full of great imagery that goes into depths of one object, rarely do you see poems like this often. This gives the reader, something to think about through out the whole poem and lets them see a tear drop through the vision that it goes through like a cycle. it is falling but it is also feeling something that cannot be said, and you give something no one thinks about a life almost and that is a great thing in poetry I feel. I feel like you are saying that though you are crying today in the moment of the poem that tomorrow you will become stronger, because of what you went through in that moment of today. well crafted write!

    • 9 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Alaska.

  • 9 years ago

    by Meme

    This really does saddnes me alot, but it speaks so truthfully. It shows how your soul is hurting. This is so transparent at showing your vulnerability a side that people mostly try to hide, but a side that a true poet can reflect into his words.

    Love it!

    • 9 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Ladies it has been 6 months since I have written anything, so nice to finally write something.

  • 9 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Nana said it all....... Darren, this piece is touching.....