Comments : A Twisted Tryst

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    I dont normally analyse but here's my attempt..

    I could say I can see, but I know it's a lie:
    I'm as blind as I was at the start of my life.
    I'm just stumbling fearfully, knowing my next step is death.

    ^^^^
    Very Very powerful words. We have all felt at one time or another our only step forward is death...

    I arrest every hope that I had for our love,
    every dream that fell softly from the sky above...
    and accept that: in darkness is where I now reside.

    ^^^^
    This is also powerful... in darkness is now where you reside. This is a place i know extremely well.. Its a place where no light comes in. Where we do feel like we are falling... as you go to say in the next line.

    I love this.. Very wonderful, descriptive, personal, everything. if you know what i mean.

    I really like this. an easy 5/5.. im trying to see how i can nominate it.. because i think it should be there for everyone to see.

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Thank you for your analyzation! I feel that our minds are brethren, and that through our poetry we do speak to each other in ways that normal conversation cannot. It's touching, and it is definitely a beautiful experience.

      Thank you for trying to nominate my poem, though I think you have to have a gold "Comments" award thing to nominate poems? Not sure the rules on that. It's the thought that counts ;)

      Much love,
      S

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    I think your correct :( i can not find a nominations thing anywhere! I may need Em to help. she has gold!

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    S, this is a very powerful piece with a deep meaning to you especially with what you told me. It reduced me to tears actually because so many of us are treated so poorly. We can't be too skinny, too fat, too ugly, too beautiful etc without being judged, I live for the day when we all live in harmony. Yeah, I know I'll never see it well none of us will because it's only going to get worse.

    Your poetry is always so enthralling and has many meanings that are usually so relatable that they are unreal. Though I know the meaning of this piece I don't want to give the game away.. Nominated.

    Much love, Em

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      It definitely was a rough weekend, but sometimes the most difficult times are the most inspiring.

      I reread this poem and I realize that it is not aesthetically perfect and nor am I, perhaps that's why I love it so much. Like me, this poem has a lot of depth and many layers, and can be perceived in different ways -- some right, some wrong. I think that's the beauty of this, is that it can be what you want it to be but all it will ever be is what it is.

      Glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for the nomination. You rock!

      Much love,
      IdTakeABulletForYou

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    This is so sad-I don't know your circumstances but I can tell you have a lot of pain and possibly this relationship is a big part of it. It's so hard to be in a bad relationship-part of you know it's no good but the other part of you just wants to hold on even if it's destroying you. Stay strong and true to yourself, you really deserve that! Take care-Brenda

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Thank you very much for checking this piece out :-) There's is so much pain in the world, happiness is not about running from it or being without it, but learning to endure it and be happy nonetheless. While I tried to make the poem "literally" seem to be about a relationship, this poem is "allegorically" about a love tryst with the person I am and the person I want to be. Loving myself and hating myself at the same time, always at odds with who society tells me to be and how they treat me when I follow suit.

      It is a never-ending struggle, it seems, but perhaps one day I will persevere.

      Thank you for checking out my poem and taking the time to comment :-)

      V/r
      IdTakeABulletForYou

  • 1 year ago

    by Vicente

    As always you know I love your poems. Even when I don't like the mood they set, or the way you tie in a dark element of demise. I cam hear your voice right now telling me that it kinda sounds like something I'd write about you from my point of view.

    Not everybody will forget you. I never have and I never will. You know I'd either pull you back from that cliff's edge or jump with you if you asked.

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Cause you cray! Thanks for reading, and commenting, even though I told you it was an allegory and the mention of death isn't a literal death but a figurative one! Tsk tsk.

      *can

  • 4 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    Oh, love, just where it takes us. This was a beautiful write, and yes, don't jump off the cliff. Oh, a figurative death, as you say. :-)