Comments : Ghosts of my Ancestors

  • 2 months ago

    by Daniel

    The last stanza is stunning in many ways. A great command of language, and I enjoyed the more concrete imagery you depicted here. I find the first part a little too wordy in places, but that is not so much as a criticism as a personal comment. I always feel when trying to capture a ‘real’ idea, as opposed to a fantasy one, it’s nicer to use narrative, concrete language. This poem proves it for me, powerfully ended but formerly subdued in some ways. I always enjoy your poetry, and there’s really something here for everyone. Awesome :)

    • 2 months ago

      by Maple Tree

      Thank you Danny!

      When I'm writing about a tragic experience within my life, I tend to add cryptic, wordy messages in spots just for personal acknowledgment, and I almost omitted that within this poem but decided that it needed that flippage of wording as I call it, ha! I do love your comments, that truly are a joy to read, so happy you are back!!

  • 2 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I want to wrap you up in a hug after reading this! I felt the surge of emotions in this, of exhaustion, of a soul aching.

    A personal yet powerful write <3

  • 2 months ago

    by Lyical Madness

    Wow!

  • 2 months ago

    by Brenda

    A lot of pain in these words, but also catharsis in putting these words into paper. We need to purge these feelings and hopefully by doing this you begin to heal. Hugs my friend-

  • 2 months ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Great write... i love the way you weaved the words and how you make us feel the pain..I agreed with Brenda,after all the pain we need to heal..

  • 2 months ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Straight from the heart and the truth well spoken. I give you prompts in every aspect and the school of life is a never-ending journey. We do the best we can as a parent and the how part is something else. You are a great inspiration to so many and my heart goes out to you. Keep strong. Hugs

  • 1 month ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Judge's Comment:

    The metaphorical language of this poem is truly stunning to behold; it has a sort of ominous feel to it, which is perfect for the poem’s theme of ghosts; even though, how I understood the poem, these ghosts are not ones of the past, but living ones in the present. It seems Maple Tree writes about the disintegration of a family, a mixture of reality interwoven with the darkness in her own head. I truly love how she seems to take ownership of the experience, it being made into a life lesson toward the end. Spectacularly dark write.

    -Stephen