My suicide

To my friends and family, you all mean so much to me
but once you get and read this note, I'll no longer be
I've tried so hard and long, to hold on this life
but all that it turns out to be is pain sorrow and strife
nobody knows my true thoughts or my real ways
just because i smile doesn't mean i have pain free days
i wake up in the morning, birds singing merrily
nobody knows that really there's darkness surrounding me
the one i really want, the one i truly need
lives so far away...how can we ever be?
throughout our whole lives we're always far apart
but you and only you will always live inside my heart
one day he sent me roses, i touched them and they died
thats when i ruined everything, thats the day i cried
thats the day i lost him, the one thing that i need
so pay attention to my warning, to my words you should heed.
go ahead and talk to me, try and change my mind
i doubt it'll do any good cus Ive already died
now I'm gone forever and its life that i lack
but now i would give everything if i could just come back
i always searched for the bad and i ignored the good
looking to the darkness instead of the light like i should
i would wake up, the sun shining on my bed
i chose to ignore it, what a horrible day i said
to me my future had always looked grim
my chances of being happy were always slim
i had a wonderful life but i wouldn't let myself see
until my blood was draining and my soul was nearly free
iv slit my wrists one by one in rows
and as the blood runs it really shows
how the words of one person, something you've said
can hurt somebody else until they are dead
people didn't mean to kill me when behind my back they said that word
they didn't realize till i was dead that id actually heard
now i stand next to you, clinging to you forever
your gazing t my picture saying "i never thought she'd do it, never"
now is the time your first tears start to flow
i try to hold onto you but i hafta let go
the next thing i see are the bright pearly gates
but i cry out loudly "Dear God please wait
i don't think my time is done down on earth
i took my own life 14 years after birth
i want to have a future, i want to live my life
i know i made a mistake when i turned to the knife
please let me go back, at least let me say goodbye
then if you still want me you can take me and I'll die"
i open my eyes and take a breath
thinking of how i escaped death
i look up at everyone, they have tears in their eyes
they all stare at me, shocked that I'm alive
at least i get to say goodbye, i love you all so dearly
but i know whats gonna happen next, i see my future clearly
i turn and say i love you, i know i cut myself to deep
i gasp out my last goodbyes, and eternally go to sleep.

sorry its so long. but please please please vote and comment, it would mean tons. thnx.