Comments : For you I won't condone

  • 18 years ago

    by ?

    Very strong emotions in this one, I liked the way you showed your anger in describing something psychical, very good indeed, keep it up xxx

  • 18 years ago

    by ShadowedPhoenix

    That has to be one of the best poems i've ver read, I'm speechless and i have no clue what else to say because there are no words that can explain how amazing this is.

  • 18 years ago

    by *Sherrie*

    grrrr...LOL I really enjoy your stlye your a great writer I could feel your pain...
    Xox Sherrie

  • 18 years ago

    by Jason Meres

    "No one knows of the weight i carry,"
    The "of" seems to block the flow a bit. Other than that, very nicely done. The emotion seeps through.

  • 18 years ago

    by rachel

    hey its reli gud well dun

  • 18 years ago

    by Leanne

    Really good use of poetic devices, and excellent empathy... or perhaps, it's semi-boigraphical? I've been there and know how it feels, and this poem sums it all up...

  • 18 years ago

    by Brookeღ

    Full of very strong emotion! You could feel the anger as you read the poem. The words you used were perfect to get your point across! Very well done! Take Care~! Brooke 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Becky drake

    very well written, you know as everyone as stated you could feel the anger in every word. I do think you have the ability to express yourself with words on paper, just be sure you can express yourself out loud....You don't have to take anyones crap, you are far better than that.....Great writer Love your work. Thanks for sharing....Love ya Becky

  • 18 years ago

    by haylie

    hey, i just wanted to say thank u so much for taking the time to read and give advise to a few of my poems. i really appreciate it :)

    Your work is inspiring to me, in a way ... keep it up :)

  • 18 years ago

    by Brazon

    it was real good but scary in a good way that u can show ur emotions like that

  • 18 years ago

    by Amanda

    Hey such strong emotions! well done with this poem. 10 out of 10 for this! I felt the anger and also the sadness in the poem but ur a brilliant writer. Keep it up! :)

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie84

    "they assume their right" Their should be they're

    You shouldn't use short hand words like "cuz" as that can deter people from reading your poems. Some figure (including me) that if you don't take it seriously they shouldn't either.

    Ok that's out of the way....minor details..;) I really liked this....very powerful and it flowed so nicely. Hope all is well....take care...

  • 18 years ago

    by crystal

    another great poem. you could feel the anger in this one. amazing job.
    crystal

  • 18 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    Liked the idea,.. good imagery,.. fighting someone to no avail,.. and i assume you dont truly mean fighting,.. just resisting i guess u could say.. i have no problems with this piece besides a few spelling corrections; the minor things.. good job, the whole time the flow was good but at times id notice something you did that made it that much better.. the 6th stanza is an example of such.. pZ out..