Masked

The makeup on my face
The hair pulled back on my neck
This necklace I wear.
The clothes I bear
As armor against the world.
My coffin-studded belt
My shaven legs
All the way down
To my mismatched socks,
Red and black striped converse
And chipped nail polish.
These things that seem so me
Are only parts of the mask
I wear
To keep the real me hidden
From the eyes of the world.

Laughter and smiles
Hide the tears I’ve cried.
Dark clothes
Shadow me.

These things I use
As a mask
Have become such a part of me
That I’ve forgotten who
I used to be.
I don’t know what I’m hiding.

Maybe I never had a true self
Maybe I’m meant to be
What I’ve become.
If that’s the case
I wish I could change it.

This ‘me’ I’ve become
Isn’t me at all.
I’m wearing a mask
Fooling all I know
Even myself.