Day By Day

No one knows how I feel,
An no one seems to care.
It feels like I'm losing all my friends,
And sometimes its just too much to bare.

No one cares, no one understands,
Why I do what I do.
Some people try to understand,
But they just don't have a clue.

You look at me with those sad eyes,
And you ask me, why?
I answer, because the pain is just too much,
And I have no tears left to cry.

I come home from school,
And think about the things going on in my life.
Most of these things are bad,
And these bad things force me to pick up that knife.

Do I have the courage in myself,
To pick up that sharp knife or blade?
Sliding it across my wrist over and over,
And then to look at the cuts I've made.

I feel a sense of relief,
As I press that sharp blade down onto my pale skin.
The red blood is flowing down from my wrists,
And I know this must be a terrible sin.

I have been trying to stop doing this to myself,
Only for my friend's sake.
But I think that this attempt is hopeless,
And is just one promise I cannot make.

The next day I make a confession,
To my most dearest and closest friend.
She reassures me and tells me things will be okay,
But this broken heart is one you just can't mend.

I appreciate you being here for me,
Through the good times and the bad.
But this time, it's hopeless my friend,
For I have caused you to worry and become very sad.

I must painfully punish myself,
For being selfish and making you feel this way.
I have hurt my most dearest friend,
Which is why this habit must continue on day by day...