Accidentally on Pourpose

I felt alone in a crowd
Felt alone together
I am completely unfinished
I am an honest liar

And when you came around
I was almost surprised
Almost suddenly
I buried myself alive

I was born dead
I was born burning cold
I was almost safe
But I let go of my hold

It’s awfully cool
It’s awfully nice
That you’d take the time
And think of me twice

But it’s a confident fear
I don’t want you near
For calling you dear
May draw a few more tears

My eyes are wide shut
Can’t you tell?
That my life
Is going to Hell

I am
Nothing
It was accidentally on purpose
Again
Cruel kindness
It was accidentally on purpose

(I know it doesn't make a whole lot of sence, sorry about that. Please tell me what you think it means because I would love to hear it!)