(Oh, and a sidenote: Don't put periods at the end of your titles. It makes the title ugly as well)
I feel like I'm going to hit the floor. = I Feel Like I Will Hit the Floor
No body sees whats wrong with me. = No one sees what's wrong with me
And now I can't say on my two feet. = And now I can't STAY on two feet.
Forgive me for I know I failed.= forgive me, for I know I've failed
Friendship doesn't last a life time. = doesn't? Wrong useage of the word...
Friendship ends; Maybe just mine. = friendshipS end
I just hope that they'll come around = I just hope that they'll come around.
I got to give in. = I must give in
Give in my secrets I hold within. = give up the secrets that I hold within
For a minute a cut's pain will hurt. = for ONLY a minute a cut's pain will hurt
This pain stays, and feels like dirt. = But this pain is staying, it's stuck and alert (or something along the line)
Just leave me on the floor. = just leave me *laying* on the floor
just cry and drown in my tears= only cry and drown in tears
Who knew I drug all these years. = Who knew I *drug*?
"*I'll fight my fears on my own.
I'm not going to be all alone."
*That couplet is too much of a contradiction*
Let me be you've done enough. = Let me be, you've done enough.
I can't believe you just shut up. = I can't believe you; just SHUT UP.
Get out my face I can't look at you= Get out my face cause I can't look at you
But now, my worse fear is the truth. = But now, my worst fear is the truth...
The poem was too... sketchy, I didn't particularly enjoy it as much as I know that I should have. I suppose there were too many errors.
Still, you made me think of a poem I wrote a while ago, and the poetry is half on structure, and half on whether or not it comes from the heart. All errors besides, this did come from the heart.
Well written dear,
Hope you're over the loneliness now that you have a boyfriend!