Cupid's Misguided Arrow

Cupid's little arrow, done hit me in the a**
I pulled it out, looked at it, then I threw it back
I didn't need a man to complicate my life
I wouldn't be content to live as a beggar wife.

A man is nice to have around when a job needs done
Like fixing things, but... they really aren't much fun
Just keep one on retainer, and when the job is through
Send his a** apacking, so he won't be crowding you.

If it's company you're needing, to talk a little while
There's always psysic hotlines, they can bring a smile
And if a walk is in the plan, a dog will do just fine
He'll gladly welcome you to use him, when you're in a bind.

Sometimes it is a cuddle on the couch that you may need
But there are pretty kitty cats to keep you company
If your toes get cold at night, and some warmth would do
Remember Electric Blankets go in the closet when you're thru.

If dinner and a movie is a date you find that's rare.
Look in the phonebook under 'Rent-A-Date', you'll find one there
Can't think of any other reason why a man would do
They're much more trouble when they're standing next to you.

I used to think a man was all I needed in this time
But when I had one around, he drove me out of my mind
Always wanting to know what I had to do that day
He followed like a puppy lost, and just got in my way