Comments : Reason

  • 10 years ago

    by yelitza

    That was good

  • 10 years ago

    by Jen

    Iliked it.

  • 10 years ago

    by Independence Forever

    Keep an eye on format, that is one of the key ingredients to a good poem

    your servant:
    atticus

  • 10 years ago

    by DaddysLittleDefect

    Yeah typ eout your words itll be alot easier to read
    but other than that its good
    i dont think you need to change much

  • 10 years ago

    by Helen

    Being honest i felt there were some words missing out if you know what i mean...
    i do like "but i know u will just turn me down
    the snow perishes without sound" although the two lines dont exacly make sence but they go together well :D with the whole rythem thing.

  • 10 years ago

    by howwilltheystopme

    Are u trying to make it rhyme? but the storyline is nice just i dunno maybe the wrong choice of words perhaps

  • 10 years ago

    by Estefania

    I really liked it 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Brittney

    Keep writing and you will get better.
    They were parts that seemed really forced. Especially the rhyming. Just let it flow and be straight from the heart. Thats what makes a good poem. It doesn't have to rhyme. The concept is great. I would work on it a bit more though and then maybe post a revised copy so that people can compare and contrast. Don't hold back. Get it all out and make sure you get the point across.
    Brittney

  • 10 years ago

    by Boy

    It was nice. but i think youshould have written more. its short. great work 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Hazel

    Hi...
    rhyme is ok.you can start making more good poems from there.
    I like the thought/content of the poem...I just feel that it was cut short too soon.
    Always remember that each of us has his own style and pace...such indiciduality /originality gives us the excuse for what they call "poetic license".
    Keep on writing.

  • 10 years ago

    by Lonely Little Dreamer

    It doesn't feel complete to me, but it is a start..i like the theme of the four seasons being used to describe the relationship and I think you can continue to develop that it will turn out good..the flow is ok and there were some lines that were a bit awkward like the ending..but to me it doesnt have an ending because i think it could go on...but a good start, keep it up...

  • 10 years ago

    by Aish

    Hi,
    you left me a essage to assess this poem so... here i am... assessing ...your poem...
    anyway.
    it was really good but ill hit you with the constructive criticism:
    i think you could have elaborated a little bit more, more detail and more emotion.
    the ending seemed a little dwindly...
    but it was good... keep writing!
    id appreciate it if you could read and rate/comment on some of my work.
    anyway 4/5
    aish

  • 10 years ago

    by Wings Of Flames

    This poem is well thought out in abstract form but the rhythm and rhyme is missing whish makes it hard to follow.

    there is no right or wrong in poetry but there are some rules and tips that make poems much easier to read and flow through.

  • 10 years ago

    by TotaMariee

    To improve you should make it flow a little better, the poem dident really flow well, and the rhyming wasent that great to tell the truth,but i like the whole setting of the poem :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Mack Bopape

    Not that much understandeble if you read it once, it is a nice piece, even though you have to read it once to understand.

    keep it up man.

  • 10 years ago

    by diana

    Try to just say what's on your mind... even if it doesn't rhyme... who knows maybe you'll come up with something better... but your poem is nice :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Kayla

    Its really good. Kinda of short...maybe if u add a lil more to it!

  • 10 years ago

    by Melissa

    To be honest you could have written more for it and maybe used a few different words?
    it was still good though

    melissa

  • 10 years ago

    by IfYouWantMe

    I read some of your other comments. I like the poem, but it is lacking something. I am not the one to criticize, my poems are far from great. I like the message, just work on getting that across. Add more. But not too much. With time you will get the hang of things. But always stay true to yourself. Write how you like...if it makes sense to you...leave it the way it is...Remember it is your poem...it's about what u feel not what I feel. Keep writing!!!

  • 10 years ago

    by Helen

    I have to admite this time i read it, it was very much improved :)