The rain fell down hard on me,
It just went right through me.
It was like you had sent it down for me,
It felt so good every moment I was there.
It feels so great just to dance,
Around in the rain,
Wishing that you were here with me,
It feels so good to remember you.
Besides the rain, I see,
I feel the nice cool breeze,
Moving swiftly onto me.
The trees are moving around,
Singing all their songs,
I looked up at the cloudy sky,
And stared beyond the broken clouds.
Thoughts of you washed over me,
It was even more powerful than the rain.
I looked up at our special tree,
And I saw you looking at me,
You said I'll be with you someday.
I ran to try to catch you,
But I just smashed into the tree.
I just found out now,
You weren't really there,
But I knew it was the spirit and the image of you.
I know you're in my heart,
Forever and ever.
I love the string imagery of that rain, and of you dancing in it, even though it is soaking through you, it somehow reminds me of your loved one that you are missing, and how you feel a presence of them here.
The opening of sky, when you see them, is so touching! Such a gripping thought to know that you can feel so close, feel even able to touch them, but then just like that they disappear. So capturing of what it feels like to hold on to a memory, but then to lose it again, it sometimes feels like losing the person all over again.
Such a beautiful story and the loss of relationship could be put towards any bond actually, parental/friendship or love.
Such a sad poem :)
The word usage was great. The length is good and so was the flow for the most part.
There were some places where you have to read carefully so as to not get lost but other then that it is a great poem.