I forgot the baby Jesus, but I have a plate of cheeses!

When I burp, I don't say "excuse me", I say "DAYUM!"

The sight of coffins often breaks people's hearts, especially when the coffins are tiny.

Some people give me a weird look and ask "Are you high on crack?". I say "Pfft, crack kills... Peace, love and pot!"

Stars are just old light.

I'll hurt myself before the world hurts me.

If you weren't dead, I'd kill you! Now get down from there!

I'm broken but smiling.

Gosh golly, that's how I'm gonna meet my homies!

Hubby, this is my wifey. Wifey, this is my ho.