Caged Songbird

by Baby Rainbow   Sep 18, 2014


When I first saw you,
I was a caged songbird
longing for someone to
hear my unspoken heartbreak.

But between us
there stood a crooked man,
who kept my voice silent
and clipped my fragile wings.

Night after night
I wept for you,
holding onto your love
that was slipping
through my feathers.

Because between us
there stood a crooked man,
who held the key to my cage
and had locked away my heart.

And my tears stained my cheeks
with the unbearable truth:

I knew our love would never be true,
for he would never let me belong to you.

Saffie
23

18/7/14

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    First: This beginning is wonderful hon! The caged songbird is very sad indeed and here it is no different at all. Before you met this person you were filled with a broken heart. No one wanted to hear your story because no one listened to what your sadness had to say, it is sad how often we see this in society. The emotions are set. And to me you enthrall the reader.

    Second: The past is very difficult to handle. This person with whom you had a relationship or friendship with haunts you and you cannot let go. The depression makes you hesitate to fall for this person. I loved how you continued with the song bird metaphor, it plays well for the poem.

    Third: This is a very simple stanza but it is also very powerful. You cried for this person and yourself, and the love of them went right through your feathers or heart. I do like the first line here because that tells me the crying has happened more than once which is great for the poem. It enhances the sadness you are portraying.

    Fourth: That man from your past has the key to your heart and to unlock your freedom to love again. Very difficult to see, but it's also well worded. Crooked to me means devious and evil, so they hurt you in some way.

    Ending: The tears fall down your cheeks because you know you will never be able to be with this person unless you can break free. Beautiful message and poem!!