Soft heart

Im five and Mommy is crying in her room
she and Daddy were yelling earlier
about how Daddy smells like beer
now Daddys gone and Mommy has me sit with her
has me hug her while she cries.
"dont be like me." she says after her tears are dry
and we are watching a movie on the couch.
"dont have a soft heart. don't let people squish it."
i nod and say "i promise." even though i dont know what she means
and we go back to the movie

Im eight and Mommy is crying in her room.
She and Daddy were yelling earlier
screaming about another woman that Daddy knows
Now Daddys gone and Im sitting with Mommy
putting band-aids on her scratches and kissing her bruises.
"Dont be like me." She says
as I hug her when Im done wiping tears off her cheek.
"Dont have a soft heart. Don't let people squish it."
I nod and say "I promise." and Im starting to get what she means
and I sit with her and cry.

I'm twelve, and Mom is crying in her room.
She and Dad were yelling earlier,
screaming about how there's no money for the rent,
because Dad spent it all on alcohol and hotel rooms.
Now Dad is gone and I'm cleaning the kitchen,
sweeping up the broken plates and putting the chairs back where they belong.
"Don't be like me." Mom says,
as she watches from the doorway.
"Don't have a soft heart. Don't let people squish it."
I nod and say "I promise." because I can see exactly what she means,
and I hand her an ice pack from the freezer.

I'm seventeen, and mom is crying in her room.
She and dad were yelling earlier,
but I didn't bother to listen to what they said.
Now dad is probably gone, and I'm working on my English essay,
because if I don't get an "A", it'll be the fourth class I'm going to fail this year.
Don't be like me." Mom says,
as she comes and sits on my bed.
"Don't have a soft heart. Don't let people squish it."
I roll my eyes and say "I don't." as I shake her hand off my shoulder,
and go back to my work.