Attack of Silence

by Baby Rainbow   Mar 18, 2016


I think you better tell me
why this attack of silence
feels so personal.
Is it a punishment
for being a poor excuse
of a human soul?

Do you remember my broken smile
when I looked deep into your eyes
for the first time?
What happened to our dreams
of fixing that smile?

You sending me gifts and cards
won't stop the pain
that is now exploding in my heart;
money can only buy inexpensive things,
and you cannot buy me!

For I will soon be a shining star
in the darkness of the midnight sky.

Saffie
25

6/2/16

1


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  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Saffie

    Let me preface this by just commending the amount of quality work you put out; it's incredible. In every one of your writes that I read I glean something important from it or read a line that I love.

    Anyway, first stanza. "Attack of silence" - excellent. We don't normally associate silence with anything too forceful or physical, but here you describe it as something that's almost assaulting you, so forcefully do you obviously feel it. Who are you addressing? Someone who obviously means a lot to you or you wouldn't feel the silence so strongly. A real lack of self confidence is also evident with the last line of this stanza too.

    The second stanza is the revelation. You are asking (a partner now I presume) what happened to your dreams of fixing what is broken in you but by doing it together. "What happened to our dreams of fixing that smile?" Immensely sad, because if the smile was "broken" before, with such obvious desertion, it will be worsened now I should imagine.

    Stanza 4. Here comes one of those lines you seem to produce at will: "Money can only buy inexpensive things" - how very true. Material objects are nothing if not cheap in the greater scheme of things; none of them matter like the things that come free: Love, care, respect, understanding, attention etc.

    The final two lines are sad indeed. You seem to see yourself shining brightest as a "star in the darkness of the midnight sky"

    Take care Saffie and all the best
    Ben