Comments - Sunrise

kips ( F P C D ) at 2012-03-06

My comments and corrections will be in parentheses.

It's another day coming,
("Here comes another day", instead of the first line)
My past is now my memories,
("My past is becoming a memory")
I'll let them fade as colours of old photographs,
Let them shed as leaves of autumn trees.

......I love this first stanza.......

I know how hard it is
To let go and say a silent good-bye,
It doesn't matter to whom it good-bye to..
("It doesn't matter to who it is said")
To a bare truth or a beautiful lie...

Meeting the youthful sunrise,
I'm breathing the new spring's air,
My life is going to arise with the sun and...
(My life rising with the sun, and-)
And who cares if his love wasn't fair?

With every breath of cold air
I feel the warmth filling inside,
It's the warmth of ardent hopes for love before me,
I dare believe, I know it's right.

Everyone was born to be happy,
That's the only thing I know,(It could be, "That's one other thing I know")
God gave me the greatest gift he could-
I can love with all my heart aglow...

I hope this helps. Overall, I love the way you vividly communicate the message. I can relate to it.


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