Deep Within

by cassie hughes   Sep 18, 2014


Slipping through your fingers now
the mask that you've been wearing
splinters on the path of broken dreams.
Weariness engulfs you
as your pain decides to break through.
Nothing is exactly as it seems.

Breaking on the inside from
the fear you're trying hard to hide.
Buried weakness never meant to show.
Falling through forever,
Reaching out, you never
felt the loss of feelings grow.

Tears don't mean you're losing,
everybody's bruising.
No one is prepared to show the scars.
Bottle everything inside.
Strength is just a state of mind, so
just be true to who you are.

Written for a music challenge incorporating the following lyrics -

Tears don't mean you're loosing, everybody's bruising.
Just be true to who you are.

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by alka mendiratta

    'Strength is just a state of mind' so true.
    An uplifting write,with an appropriate title' Deep within'.

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wow!

    Congratulations on winning the challenge in the club from this. The 2 lines you had were simple, and yet you created something so unique and powerful.

    Your opening stanza is filled with excellent wording, and the flow is smooth and fast which makes it enjoyable to read. I think the end line of that first stanza is really powerful, nothing is what it seems, great way to end that first one, it makes the reader want to get to that second one!

    Your second stanza I like because the lines are short and choppy, they each say one sharp statement, which really sticks in the mind of the reader. Simple, yet they speak of truth. I believe everyone is hiding pain, and trying to keep together inside, showing a front on the outside, and masking what is inside. You shows this well.

    Strength is just a state of mind, so
    just be true to who you are.

    - Strength should not have a capital unless you change the previous comma to a full stop.

    Great way to end, to state that strength is a state of mind. SO what you believe you are, you are.

    Really quite uplifting poem, and your title really fits to what you are portraying.

    Great job!

    Well done

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