Comments : Predator's Souvenirs

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Trophies I feel are definitely overrated but this poem holds a lot of sadness overall. It seems like the narrative is changing back and forth between you and this person who hurt you. Or a reader could read it like you are narriorting this persons life through their eyes. He holds your tears and screams captive, both of them going unheard. This person has held these for a long time, untouched by other people, and knowing he has them, brings him joy, a sick feeling by everyone else but himself. Every time he smiles there is a memory that comes back to you, causing you pain that you are trying to forget or have forgotten. This person robbed you of living a happy childhood, and he takes pride in that, much to you lr depose. Great write.

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    I will comment on later on this poem since it's just so beautiful and for that alone I nominated the poem .

    -Mori

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    My stolen comforts nest
    immaculately upon his dusty shelf
    of ancient victory.
    My bottled tear-drops mixed
    with my unheard echoing screams,
    sit centre stage of his view.
    ^
    There are two scenes to this lovely stanza! Ones is about one thing and another describing the first one. Here's a tip there's a mistake in the last line it should be "center" stage Baby Rainbow. The first part sent chills down my spine since this is a psychotic man that keeps memoirs of his kills/traumatic events that have scared a victim in the past. Now the second part is yours (whoever it maybe about). I still got shivers in this second part very scary very beautiful

    Dust seems to add more value
    to his pride as he revels in triumph
    of robbing me blind.
    ^
    This person really is a sadistic person he doesn't care that he hurt a woman/child/man/human he enjoys the pain that person seems to have and loves to just go to the past and just have a "happy and joyful moment" truly creepy in a good way.

    Sickly smiles emerge on his face-
    remembering every second that
    I wish did not exist, every detail
    I now fight to forget.
    ^
    The most emotional stanza of this poem. Really painful to imagine,, my emotional daughters have all had this and it hurts me so much. Sometimes I wonder who have been scared to the point that they have sickening flashbacks to that nightmare?

    But he will always have
    his silver shelf of twisted pride,
    filled with antique souvenirs
    stolen many years ago
    from a child who was robbed
    of life's comforts.
    ^
    Sad way to end a poem that's so scary how people do have those people that have tortured them in the back of their minds they know that they will find pleasure in that one small moment in time where they were the victims and now they are too aware of the world unlike a child is supposed to. Great read though sad/dark 5/5

    -Mori