Rachel, I had shudders going through me from start to finish. I love how you have used the newspapers cold headlines to structure this piece. Unique, well to my eyes anyway! The flow was fantastic, making it read smoothlly and seemlessly.
You captured the reader, me with the baby's suffering in the first traumer packed stanza. You then continued to bombard me with shells to the end where you then tied it all together with the message to live your life to the full, you can't change tomorrow!

Well done, I hoonestly enjoyed this so much!

5/5

Michael

I have been down this road myself and know the pain that comes with lifes unfairness. It is especially painful the younger you are. Hodgkins was my companion for awhile and it gave me new insights before it left. I was lucky to see it go. good write!

Very good piece but..i think you
cuda made it more...stronger..
showed more init..
more power..

but good piecee..
loved the last stanza..

Rachel,This poem brings home an important truth,that we need to value the time we have with people,because you never know what the next minute will bring.I don't think you need to change anything! Excellent write.

A wonderful write that has had about everything said about it, at least I can compliment you and add my vote.

This poem is so true,sometimes it seems like the good ones are taken.Your rhyming and flow are so smooth that you don'y really think about it,you just get lost in the message.Excellent!

Great poem! it's true that we can't control what's gonna happen in the future.. sh*t happens.. 5/5

Aww... this is such a sad, but true poem! I love it. It's really nice that you can write about this because it really opens up people... It really affected me. Well done.