Comments : Deceptions of Fate

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Very powerful from the beginning to the end. The first stanza caught my attention and held it through every amazing line. I like the message of the whole poem, truly deep and thoughtful.
    Your choice of words seem excellent in every stanza and your descriptions brought me to some other world. I like the whole idea for this piece and I think that you portrayed everything fantastically. Very original poem, filled with vivid imagery and interesting, profound lines.
    I like the lines in the brackets, too, you created very effective flow with them.
    Greatly done!
    5/5 from me

  • 16 years ago

    by Danielle

    I love your form. it makes this all the better.
    keep up the wonderful writting.

  • 16 years ago

    by Danielle

    I love your form. it makes this all the better.
    keep up the wonderful writting.

  • 16 years ago

    by OLA OLUWASEUN

    The poem is fantastic. However, below are my suggestions.
    Stanza 01:
    I feel the B part of the second line could be something like this in order to make it more poetic and rhyme with others "and a different story each tells". I really like the description it's quite true that life is full of different stories.
    Stanza 02:
    I feel using "The pink..." which commonly represents love might be better than white which commonly represents lack, snow, ice, peace, nothing, frost, and air. The rest is very ok. Thanks.

  • 16 years ago

    by Michelle18

    Wow...this poem is really good... i love the fact that its long and you really took the time to make this poem perfect...

    you had my attention from beginning to end.. and i can see exactly why this was a poem the won..its flawless.

    good job. 5/5