A Nightmare

"Come and see,
the nightmare i turned to be,"

I like how you opened with this line in the poem. Its powerful. I like how you have to pause when you read one line to the next. Its almost as if I can visually see something standing in front of me.

"i promise you,
that you will be mortialy horrifyed,
by my life you see."

This sounds like your having a conversation with someone, well actually your telling someone this. About this "nightmare" I can feel the emotion here, Its as if your talking to me, the reader.

"come and see,
the nightmare that you dream,"

Lol, this is honest and true. Nightmares are dreams. Its good that you put that in, in a way its unexpected but its bluntly obvious. Good work putting it in.

"i promise you,
that is the only thing you will think of,
when you think of me."

I like your repeition of "I promise you" and "come and see" Then you make your statement, It flows very well from one word to the next in each stanza.

"come and see,
what i wished to be,"

Its good that you changed the perspective, instead of you saying "what you..." you changed it to " what i..." Its good contrast and makes the poem flow.

"come and see,
the nightmare that i turned you to be,
i promise you,
that you will be just as horrifying as me,
this is our life...

A Nightmare "

Unexpected last stanza, and its my favorite stanza of the whole poem. Your basically telling this person about yourself then you end up turning them into what you are, so they can truly understand. I loved the last stanza you did a great job on this poem. Keep it up.

Ah...amazing work...keep going

Very nice and very scary.makes me wonder what all you can do.5/5
;) lesthat