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by Michael D Nalley Apr 14, 2008
Special events /
So today you celebrate your birthday
I asked you yesterday if you were happy
I would have loved to have broken bread
It seems we have broken hearts instead
We were living mainly for our own pleasure
Overlooking the great things we most treasure
From a lack of communion our signals got crossed
It seems what was left of our love just got lost
As the years pass we lose a little purity
In our case some would say also maturity
May we grow in spirit and accept the divine grace
To express satisfaction with a smile on our face
Woooooow! this is touchy wat a great work man!!keep on doing the best...
by Bradley Peter
I liked the tone of this piece especially, and how the title suggests a different poem than one would expect. Obviously I also liked the basics - words, rhymes, etc, etc.
This poem is written simply and streight. I liked the rhymes, although the first stanza didn't have any in the first two lines. The choosing of words is nice although the rhymes seemed forced. Try doing better next time 4/5
by Sherry Lynn
The heartache that one can feel is purely wrenching.
When a couple has grown seperated while being together the only thing one can ask is how? But..you have answered that question for the readers who have never walked in those sadden footsteps.
Honestly, I don't know whether to cry or to give you a hug and let you cry... hey we will both cry if that is what the heart desires.
Another fantastically penned poem my dear.