Wanting To Feel Like I Belong

Sitting on the outside,
Always looking in,
Ever the observer,
Fearing to begin.

That precious step, into the world,
A mountain moving task,
Breaking down the walls of hurt,
Removing every mask.

The supple self that lays inside,
So tender to the touch,
That's never been exposed to all,
You care for oh so much.

Afraid to be and scared to know,
But wanting to belong,
A constant battle in this life,
At times it feels so wrong.

I never thought it'd be so hard,
Life is such a mess,
Childish dreams and fairy tales,
I learned, to just suppress.

My innocence, now on the floor,
Bleeding half to death,
The screaming voice inside my head,
Not running out of breath.

Learn to walk a different road,
Be cautious, not withdrawn,
You'll fit in where you're meant to be,
Self doubt will be gone.

The message screaming in my head,
Not always seeming real,
It doesn't match the life I know,
The angst I've come to feel.

I know it's out there, standing by,
Hoping that I see,
Everything I need and want,
Is right in front of me.